


A Love Undying

by Katef



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, M/M, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 12:37:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 32,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12342855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katef/pseuds/Katef
Summary: After a long estrangement, a crisis in Jim's life leads him to try and reconcile with his erstwhile partner.  Blair is willing to try, but have they both changed too much - or not enough - to make it work this time around?





	A Love Undying

**Author's Note:**

> I have often wondered where Jim and Blair might have ended up post-series, never believing that the infamous 'badge offer' was anything short of preposterous. So, here is my take on the 'Where are they now?' theme.
> 
> K x

**Introduction:**   


**Sierra Verde, August 2016:**  


“Dr Sandburg? Dr _Sand_ -burg? Um, Blair? Where are you?” 

Blair looked up from the meticulous section drawing he was engaged in, and squinted up into the bright sunshine to track the owner of the voice calling to him. He smiled gently as he made out the figure of Becca Davenport, his young but very capable post-grad Assistant Site Manager, who was climbing the rugged, rocky slope upon which he was perched. He grinned in approval as he peered over the top of his prescription shades, appreciating her lithe grace despite the mismatched, utilitarian clothing she was wearing, and thanking his lucky stars that he had managed to secure her services on this excavation. Pretty, smart and completely dedicated to both her Professor and her chosen subject of archaeology, he was a lucky man, and he knew it. 

Not that he had any inappropriate urges towards her. He was long past the skirt-chasing rep he had once been renowned for – which had mostly been a carefully-nurtured misconception anyway – and he had never committed what he considered to be the cardinal sin of putting the moves on a student or subordinate, willing or not. Then again, Blair being Blair, he would never have believed that so many of his students, both male and female, would have given their eye teeth to have been bedded by him, and the same was true of Becca. 

Carefully laying the drawing board down beside his camp stool, he raised his hand and waved at her, calling out, “Over here, Becca! What is it? Has the geophysical survey of the lower court turned up something new?” 

Barely out of breath despite the steep climb up ancient, crumbling stonework and the cloying humidity, Becca reached the wide paved ledge on which Blair was sitting, her attractive face pinched in an unaccustomedly concerned expression. 

“No, Dr S…Blair,” she replied somewhat worriedly, and even as his instincts warned him that something was very wrong he couldn’t help but note ruefully that his very proper young assistant still had problems with addressing him by his given name despite several years of acquaintance. 

“A call’s been patched through from someone in Washington State wanting to speak to you urgently. It’s a Mr Simon Banks, and I think he said he was calling from Cascade?” 

Blair was instantly shocked into silence as a pang of pure terror seemed to strike him and freeze his very soul. If Simon Banks was trying to contact him after all these years, it must be about Jim. 

Jim. The man who still held Blair’s heart in thrall despite more than a decade of estrangement. 

Jim Ellison, once Blair’s Holy Grail, his erstwhile sentinel, and ever the secret love of his life.  


\------------------------------  


Coming to a halt before Blair, Becca’s concern grew as she noted the sudden unhealthy-looking pallor beneath the older man’s normal tan, and the unfocussed, glassy expression in the still arresting wide blue eyes. For a moment, she was undecided as to what to do next, so dramatic had Blair’s reaction been to her message, and she wondered at the abrupt change in his demeanour. As far as she was concerned, Dr Sandburg was still probably one of the most personable and attractive men she had ever come across in her young life, despite the age gap between them, although she was ruefully aware that there would never be anything more to their relationship but deep, mutual liking and professional respect. 

Abruptly making up her mind, she reached out and carefully took his arm, gratified when within seconds he seemed to come back to himself somewhat, as if her touch had grounded him. Meeting her anxious gaze with determination despite his overt inner turmoil, he offered her a sickly grin; ever inclined to put others’ distress and discomfort above his own. 

“Sorry, Becca. Didn’t mean to wig out on you like that. It’s just that I haven’t heard from Simon in years. Probably nothing,” he ended lamely with a shrug and an unconvincing smile which was more of a pained grimace. 

_Yeah, right!_ Becca thought, even though she nodded understandingly. And as they turned to make their way down to the radio tent, she studied her professor and friend critically, if covertly, on the alert for any indication that he needed her support and prepared to offer it instantly. 

Beside her, Blair seemed to make the descent virtually on autopilot, his mind plainly focussed on the incoming call. Despite her concern at his worrying, uncharacteristic introspection, Becca couldn’t help but admire and appreciate his physical attributes. He might be a few years short of 50, but he was still attractive for all that. A slender, long-legged beauty herself, she was maybe an inch or so taller than Blair’s 5’7” compact frame, but he was wiry and fit from years of the physical effort demanded by frequent excavations. Dr Sandburg was ever a ‘hands-on’ personality, preferring practical investigation to theory and never satisfied to sit idly on the side-lines while his students and fellow archaeologists did all the hard work. 

Although receding slightly at the temples, his still abundant curls clustered around his head; worn short for many years now and liberally streaked with grey. Becca considered that Blair’s mouth was almost sinfully tempting, being blessed with lush lips and even white teeth that many women would kill to possess. And as for his eyes, well, even though they were bracketed by the fine lines and crows’ feet arising naturally from age and exposure to the elements, they were still a stunning, fathomless blue, and easily one of his best features. 

But whereas his customary expression was one of easy-going amiability and careful self-control, his mobile features lit either by a gentle smile or perhaps betraying a somewhat restrained enthusiasm or degree of frustration, right now he looked stressed out and almost frightened despite his vain attempts to reassure her. 

In truth, Becca would have been shocked at the comparison had she known the Blair of old. Long gone was the bouncing, smart – and smart-mouthed - ebullient grad student who had first burst into newly-online sentinel Jim Ellison’s life; guiding, helping and befriending the struggling detective with single-minded dedication and the frenetic vigour of an Energiser Bunny. This Blair was older, wiser, and more self-contained; the product of a less-than-easy life since he had parted reluctantly from the man who had unwittingly become the centre of his universe. 

But it only took one phone call to reignite Blair’s ever-present, if deeply buried care and concern for that man, and as he reached the radio tent, he tried valiantly, if unsuccessfully, to prepare himself for the words he had so long dreaded to hear.  


\-----------------------------------  


**Part 1: Coming to Call:**  


**Blair, 36 hours later:**  


Blair stared sightlessly out of the window of the cramped, economy class seat, his mind on anything but the dubious comforts of the aircraft carrying him on the first leg of his journey to Cascade. He was well aware that his sudden request to abandon his excavation site, albeit temporarily, hadn’t gone down at all well with either his team or his department head at Florida State University, but he would deal with the repercussions later. 

When he knew for a fact that Jim was better. 

_If_ he got better. 

Blair desperately fought against the temptation to contemplate what the outcome might be if that didn’t happen. It was too much to bear, and the gods knew that he felt shaky and upset enough already without travelling down that path unnecessarily. 

Thinking back over the past few hours, he recalled his reaction to hearing Simon’s voice after all these years. And relived his turbulent emotions as he desperately tried to absorb what the man was telling him. 

Apparently, Jim had been caught in the crossfire during a botched bank heist, and was in critical condition in Cascade General Hospital. The irony of it was that he hadn’t even been on duty at the time, and hadn’t actually been out in the field for several years. 

However, according to Simon, it appeared that his chances of survival were minimal, and Banks had had the insight and compassion to contact Blair with the information, knowing how much the younger man had cared for Jim, and wanting to give him the opportunity to say goodbye. 

_No,_ Blair scolded himself roundly. _Not goodbye. Never goodbye. Jim will recover. He has to!_

But it was touch and go, and he didn’t know what he would do if Jim passed before Blair could reach his bedside. 

Determinedly derailing that awful train of thought, Blair pondered instead the situation he had left behind him. As soon as he had terminated his call, he had set about making the preparations to fly back to Cascade, a city he hadn’t set foot in for fifteen years. Although deeply sympathetic, Becca had been unsurprisingly upset and shaken at the thought of being handed full responsibility for the continuing dig. However, Blair had every confidence in his deputy, and told her so. It might be something of a baptism of fire, but he knew she was up to the task, as he had told her in no uncertain terms. 

“Look, Becca, I know it’s a shock, and I’m so sorry to spring it on you, but I wouldn’t have asked you to be my second-in-command if I didn’t think you were up to it. The guys and gals on the team like and respect you, as do the locals; and it isn’t like I won’t be back, whatever the outcome,” and here his voice had cracked a little despite his best efforts to control it. 

“I know you’ll get your PhD from this, kiddo, and I’ll be so proud of you when you do. It’s an opportunity not to be missed, after all.” 

And it wasn’t, when all was said and done. Blair had counted himself exceedingly fortunate to have been granted permission to explore an area not so very far from the Temple of the Sentinels, where locals claimed to have stumbled across an overgrown, ancient ruin. With much effort and persuasion, Blair had managed to secure enough funding to set up an expedition to the site, and the discovery had turned out to be beyond his wildest dreams. Sure enough, they had soon located the crumbling remains of what must have been a similar, if smaller temple complex, which they were certain was contemporary with the Temple of the Sentinels. It was in much worse condition, and much work would be needed to recover and record as many of the surviving artefacts as possible, and gather and interpret the information hidden within the mostly destroyed edifices and associated structures. Time was of the essence, as funding for archaeological projects wasn’t infinite, and Blair was well aware that his sudden departure wouldn’t sit well with either his colleagues on faculty or with the Board of Governors. 

Given Blair’s prior obsession with the whole subject of sentinel studies, it was hardly surprising that he had been fired with more enthusiasm than he had felt in many a long year at the prospect of working on such a site. Not that he would want to stir up potentially troublesome and unhappy memories or repercussions again. Of necessity, he was an archaeologist now, and his approach to recording, interpreting and eventually reporting on the discovery was a different one to what it would have been had he still been a practicing cultural anthropologist. 

Struck once again by that somewhat grim and still painful reality he couldn’t help but consider how he had arrived at his present situation. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable train of thought, and one that he usually avoided, but Jim’s predicament brought his own circumstances to the forefront of his mind, and he allowed himself to ponder on the course of his life post Jim and Cascade. It beat contemplating the dire situation awaiting him there anyway, so for once he let his memories have free rein. 

And was surprised yet again at how many of those memories were recalled with such painful clarity.  


\-------------------------------  


**Sixteen years ago, the loft, 852 Prospect:**  


“Look, man, please listen to what I’m saying here. Don’t shut me out, Jim. I need to explain!” Blair’s tone had been plaintive and desperate as he had addressed Jim’s broad back, the older man having turned away from him in hurt and disgust as he had tried to give his reasons why he couldn’t accept the badge he had been offered. 

“Doesn’t matter, Sandburg,” Jim had growled, bitter resentment making his words and delivery harsh and cruel. “If you want to run away, then go. It’s a Sandburg trait after all. I thought you wanted to stay with me – be my partner for real. But plainly I was wrong, and so was Simon when he did all that fancy footwork to get that badge. It was all just a pack of lies, wasn’t it? All that crap about friendship!” 

“No, man! And how can you say that after what I gave up for you? I _know_ I fucked up, but I did my best to put things right. And I did it for you, because it was the right thing to do! But can’t you see? I _can’t_ be a cop! I’m so grateful for the support of everyone in MCU, but I’d never be accepted by the rest of the PD as a self-confessed fraud, and they’ll never forgive me for my perceived betrayal of you. 

“And what if I did go to the academy? Can you just see me on the witness stand? What a field day the defence lawyers’ll have! And let’s not forget how it’ll look if I’m still living here with you at the loft. What’ll they make of that? It won’t take long for someone to put two and two together and start thinking that there’s something in the sentinel stuff after all. Either that or that we’re an item, and the consequences of that could be just as bad! 

“I’m thinking of _you_ , man. Please understand!” 

But it had been no use. Although Jim’s attitude softened a little in the ensuing days, his anger and disappointment in Blair remained raw and unforgiving, and left the heartsick younger man with no option but to look for alternative accommodation. 

With Naomi’s support – because what else could she do but try to make amends for the great wrong she had unwittingly done to her son – he found a cheap efficiency unit a couple of blocks away from the loft, and set about trying to patch up the tatters of his life. 

With help from a friend in Rainier’s Law Department who still believed in him, and also from his good friend and former colleague Jack Kelso, Blair decided on a course of action which would both continue to protect Jim and also give him a chance to salvage something from the dissertation fallout. After threatening to sue Sid Graham and Berkshire Publishing for the illegal release of his intellectual property, he managed to secure a reasonable out-of-court settlement which, although not megabucks, was enough to repay his outstanding student loans and leave him with a small sum on which to live until he could find employment elsewhere. 

Although he adamantly refused to rescind his claim that the Sentinel paper was nothing but fiction, he managed to obtain a grudging admission from TPTB at Rainier that it had never actually been submitted as his dissertation, and an even more grudging apology on behalf of Chancellor Edwards for wrongful dismissal. 

Not that there was any question of him returning to his teaching post, or signing up again for the doctoral programme. That was gone beyond recall, and he knew it. 

While all that was going on, he tried to keep in touch with Jim, always offering his help and support if needed, but was rebuffed time and time again. He knew only too well that once Jim perceived himself to have been betrayed, his distrust and anger ran deep, and Blair had little hope of being forgiven any time soon, if ever. 

However, he had been determined to keep on trying, until the day when Simon came to call, which ironically was also the day when Blair had received the cheque from Berkshire Publishing which had at least alleviated his immediate monetary problems. 

Surprised and pleased, if somewhat nervous of Banks’ intentions, Blair recalled how he had let the older man into his shabby apartment, and offered him a seat. He had been completely taken aback when the big captain had rounded on him instead, his ferocious expression and furious words still having the power to hurt even now. 

“So, you’ve landed on your feet again, Sandburg? Why am I not surprised? You always were a nifty tap dancer, weren’t you? Talk your way into anything, including Jim’s life and my department! But where do you get off turning your back on us now? Throwing a perfectly good job offer back in my face? Do you _know_ how upset Jim is? Do you even _care?”_

For a long moment Blair had been too stunned to reply, the pain and unfairness of Banks’ harsh words wounding him profoundly. But then his own anger and hurt had emerged, and once out, had fuelled his passionate response. 

“How dare you? How _dare_ you accuse me of turning my back on Jim? On you and MCU? Do _you_ have any _idea_ how hard I’ve tried to talk to Jim? To convince him that I’m still here for him even if I can’t be his official partner? Did you really think that your offer was viable? How could you _not_ see that I would never be accepted, even if I wanted to be a cop – which I don’t? I truly appreciate the gesture, and I’ve loved working with Jim in the capacity of an observer, but he says he doesn’t need me now. Doesn’t want me in his face or in his life anymore. 

“And you know what? You’ve managed to convince me that it’s time I gave up trying to get through to him. I’m done with beating my head against the brick wall of Jim Ellison’s obstinacy! 

“I’m out of here! Out of Cascade, and out of Jim’s life!” 

Looking back, Blair knew that he had made the right decision, but it had been so hard! It had nearly broken his heart to pack his few belongings together and drive to Big Sur where Naomi waited for him anxiously, but with open arms. For some weeks, he had dithered between wanting to return to Cascade for one more try with Jim and the need to get on with some travesty of a life without his sentinel, but eventually common sense had won out. At the end of the day he was still an academic at heart, and the desire for a doctorate still tugged at him. He therefore swallowed his pride, and began to look at alternative routes, guided in his search by the advice of a few friends who still trusted in his integrity despite everything. 

And he had found that within the ranks of archaeologists he wasn’t quite the pariah he had become in the eyes of so many of his erstwhile peers in the field of cultural anthropology. His prior undergrad experience in the field, plus his recognised published work in anthropology had convinced the Head of Florida State University’s Archaeology Department to give him a chance to prove his worth. And within a remarkably short time, Blair had done just that, applying himself to his new chosen field with dedication and determination such that he had achieved his much-desired doctorate on the subject of the differences and similarities in approach and ideology between the two fields of study when applied to material culture and the interpretation of perceived cultural and social phenomena. 

The resulting dissertation, although well written and presented, hadn’t had the passion and flair of his sentinel paper, but it was good enough to secure him his doctorate, and from thereon in he had been more than grateful to be accepted on faculty, and after several years of dedicated and loyal service, he had been granted tenure. 

It hadn’t been easy for him socially, however, especially in the early days when he was frequently the butt of sneering and disdainful jokes and insults from visiting academics, and even occasionally from those in his own department who were jealous of his success in the face of his supposed previous unethical conduct. He learned quickly that the best way to deal with such painful barbs was with quiet dignity and restraint even though he was crying inside with mortification and unjustified guilt. 

In truth, things had improved over time as memories faded and he continued to function satisfactorily. His students loved him, and his reputation, if not stellar, was sound. Nevertheless, the upshot was that he had gradually become more introverted and self-contained, his innate low self-esteem happily coming to the fore such that in the cause of self-preservation he had deliberately curtailed his natural impulse to socialise. Although he didn’t actively shun others’ company, he wasn’t the gregarious, talkative student he used to be, and he knew it. And to a certain extent he embraced it, because he still loved, and would always love, the buff, honourable - if flawed - man and sentinel he had left behind him. 

A voice over the intercom advising passengers that the aircraft was on its final descent to LAX roused him from his reverie, and he unconsciously checked his seatbelt as he turned his attention to the change of planes required to enable him to reach Cascade and his destination at Jim’s side.  


\-------------------------------  


**Several days previously:**  


**Jim:**  


Straightening the few items on his desk with precision prior to leaving his office, Captain Jim Ellison glanced out of the window to smirk wryly at the rain beating against the pavement below. _Typical Cascade summer!_ he said to himself. _Wonder what Blair would make of it? ‘Cold and wet is my world’. Huh!_ The stray thought brought him up short, and he frowned a little as he pondered on it further. He realised that he could go for days now without thinking about his erstwhile partner and friend, but every so often a situation or passing comment would take him unawares and he would automatically consider what the feisty, uber-smart grad student of his early acquaintance would have had to say about it. Truthfully, he admitted to himself that even after all these years he still missed his young roommate. Of necessity he had grown accustomed to solitude over time, but not through want of trying to relieve it. He simply hadn’t ever found another person, male or female with whose presence he was so comfortable, whether or not the senses had had anything to do with it. Hell, he had even entered into a serious relationship with a woman from the DA’s office, with every intention of proposing to her, but once she had moved into the loft, it soon became obvious to both of them that it wasn’t going to work and they parted company with mutual relief. 

So now he lived alone, resigned to his condition, but every so often wishing he could have done something about it. Thinking back, he knew he had been cruel and unfair in his treatment of Blair. Once his anger and resentment had cooled enough, he realised that the leak of the dreaded ‘Sentinel’ paper hadn’t been Blair’s doing. True, the young man had made mistakes. He should have taken more care to protect his laptop from his interfering mother, and he should have removed Jim’s name from the first draft, but when all was said and done, he had done his best to clean up his own mess, and almost destroyed himself in the doing. And in hindsight, both Jim and Simon admitted now that the badge offer had been as unrealistic as Blair had claimed it would be. 

And the worst thing of all, in Jim’s view, was that it appeared that his secret wasn’t such a secret anyway. Although she was the only one other than Simon who knew for sure, Megan hadn’t held back in her condemnation of Jim’s treatment of her friend Sandy. True, she hadn’t blurted out his secret to the bullpen as a whole, but she had certainly taken him to task in a quiet but heated exchange in the break room, and the memory of her words still pricked his conscience to this day. 

Cornering him alone several days after Blair had moved out of the loft in despair, she had gotten up in his face and hissed angrily, “How could you? How could you let Blair take the bloody fall for you like that? And then get your knickers in a twist because he had the common sense to turn down your stupid badge offer? You’re some piece of work, you yellow bugger, aren’t you, _‘Sentinel’?_ Honestly, you daft bloody drongo, d’you really think that no one realises that there’s something special about you? You don’t have much of an opinion of your mates then, do you? Just ask Joel what he makes of your results during the time Blair was riding with you. You should be ashamed!” 

Oh, it had hurt at the time, and he had reacted in his usual fashion by going on the offensive, but he had taken her words to heart and started to actually listen to the muttered comments around him. And was indeed astounded and ashamed to find that Megan had been quite correct. Although there were some derogatory comments about Blair’s carelessness in letting the ball drop in the first place, generally speaking there were more people who admired his courage in falling on his sword for his partner than those who condemned him out of hand. And once he actually cared to register the fact, Jim had soon realised that not only did many cops from other departments other than Major Crimes begin to take for granted his sensory ‘edge’, but they actively expected and encouraged him to use it. 

It had been one hell of a shocking epiphany, but it had come too late for him to do anything about trying to mend his relationship with Blair. The young man had already left Cascade, and Jim didn’t feel justified in trying to get him back. Blair needed to get a life for himself, and Jim didn’t want to hold him back after hurting him so much already. It never occurred to him that as far as Blair was concerned there was much more than a damaged friendship involved. The fact that his roommate had fallen in love with him didn’t – _couldn’t be allowed_ – to register with him, so he had no idea of the extent to which Blair’s heart had been broken. As had his own, if he had only had the courage and self-awareness to admit it. 

But he had missed his friend deeply, and despite the fact that he had been comfortable enough with his senses by that time, he found that he didn’t really want to risk using them to their fullest extent without Blair at his side to ground him, and eventually they had gradually returned to normal levels. To paraphrase what Incacha had once told him, _A Sentinel will be a Sentinel as long as he chooses to be,_ and without his companion, Jim chose not to be. He had been a good enough cop before the senses, and he would be so again. 

He was ruefully aware that he had returned to being the irascible loner of pre-Sandburg days for many months after Blair’s departure, but with much urging from Simon he had eventually made the effort to reintegrate himself into the departmental camaraderie he had shunned, and had resigned himself to a life lived alone, but with good friends to rely on when he needed them. The one friend he didn’t keep however was Megan, who returned to Australia not long after their confrontation. And damned if he hadn’t missed her, with her pithy comments, her undeniable capability as a cop, and her unswerving loyalty to Sandburg. 

Of course, the department had evolved since then anyway as the years passed. Rafe had married and returned to South Africa with his bride, and Henri Brown was now a Lieutenant in Vice. Joel had retired some years ago to spend more time with his wife, although he was still a welcome visitor to the loft. As for Jim himself, eventually he had been persuaded by Simon to sit his Lieutenant’s exam so that he could spend less time on the street. Although at first Jim had refused to consider a desk job, common sense – and a few more close calls and minor injuries – convinced him that his days of chasing down villains were numbered. Certainly he still kept himself in good shape, the habit of using the gym too deeply ingrained to ignore, but he found to his surprise that the challenge of financial and personnel management and policy-making had its own peculiar charm, and was more than enough to keep his mind active too. So much so that, when Simon announced that he was also looking to retire, Jim had sat the Captain’s exam also, and managed to get himself promoted to Captain of MCU in Simon’s stead. 

And that was the position he had held for two years now, and although internal politics and diplomacy were never going to be his favourite facets, he had never had cause to regret it. But it didn’t stop him wondering on occasion how things might have turned out if Blair had stayed with him. Then again, he told himself that it was no good pondering on the what-might-have-beens any more than it was worth continually mulling over the whys and wherefores of Blair’s decision to leave. He knew from the infrequent emails exchanged between Blair and Simon and shared with him by his old friend that Sandburg had finally achieved his doctorate, albeit in archaeology rather than anthropology, and was now a tenured professor in Florida. And wasn’t that something? Blair had managed to land up in a state where even his perpetually-cold nature would be comfortable. Good for him! 

Smiling softly to himself at that thought, Jim slipped on his overcoat and headed for the door. He was treating himself to a couple of days’ well-earned leave, and was looking forward to spending it fishing with Simon. The department could take care of itself for a few days while he kicked back and enjoyed his oldest friend’s company. And if the mental image of Blair in his ‘fishing hat’, grinning at the camera while he held up his catch flashed briefly across his inner eye, Jim didn’t allow himself to dwell on it.  


\--------------------------------  


Less than an hour later, Jim was walking towards the specialist sports shop from which he had ordered some new fishing gear. He had decided to treat himself in advance of the upcoming trip, and was happily anticipating picking up his order on his way home. However, his attention was abruptly caught by the screech of an alarm from the bank on the opposite side of the street, followed almost immediately by the sound of gunfire from within. The few pedestrians around him, already frightened and bewildered even more by the sudden arrival of two patrol units with flashing lights and sirens blaring, reacted in several different ways. Most dived for cover behind the nearest parked vehicles, while some ran like hell for the safety of nearby buildings. But one young woman, who was clutching a white cane denoting her visual impairment, stood panic-stricken and rooted to the spot on the sidewalk virtually opposite and in full view of the bank. 

Cursing under his breath, Jim did the only thing he could. Sprinting across the open space between them, he reached for the girl and pulled her against him, sheltering her with his body and urgently murmuring reassurances even as he turned them in order to retreat to the safety of the nearest doorway. 

They had almost reached their sanctuary when the gunmen within the bank opened fire again, targeting the newly-arrived cops, who immediately retaliated in kind. Jim barely had a chance to push the girl the rest of the way into the open doorway when he felt two stunning blows in his back. 

_Well, shit! And I’m not even on duty_ …he thought disgustedly, and then excruciating pain flared up and his vision tunnelled and faded to black. He wasn’t even aware of the last soft words he breathed out on a sigh as he lost consciousness. _‘Blair? Need you, Chief….’_  


\-----------------------------------  


**Part 2: Beyond the Call:**  


**Present, Cascade Airport, Arrivals:**  


Eyes downcast and deep in thought, Blair manoeuvred his way automatically through throngs of fellow red-eye travellers and their families stumbling towards the exit, shouldering his battered leather satchel and carry-on duffel which were his sole items of luggage. It wasn’t until he had arrived on the sidewalk outside the terminal building that he suddenly became aware of the large body blocking his path. Glancing up, and already murmuring an apology, he was astounded to see Simon Banks standing before him, still huge and imposing, but this time without the ferocious scowl Blair had long associated with his former, unofficial boss. For a long moment, both men regarded each other solemnly, neither of them confident enough to make the first move. Blair swiftly catalogued the changes in Simon, although he was actually relieved to see that the older man generally looked much the same as he remembered. Yes, there was grey in his hair now, and a slight stoop in the broad shoulders, but he looked fit and well, and retirement plainly suited him. But the most noticeable difference seemed to be in his attitude towards Blair himself. There was a marked softening in Simon’s expression as he regarded the younger man in his turn, such that Blair, although still wary of provoking an adverse response, offered a small, cautious smile of greeting. 

And was astounded once again when Simon’s face broke out into a huge, welcoming grin as he stepped forward and engulfed Blair’s slighter frame in a brief but heart-felt bear hug. 

Pushing Blair away slightly, but maintaining his grip on the smaller man’s shoulders, Simon gazed down into the upturned face, his dark eyes suspiciously shiny as he spoke. 

“It’s good to see you, Sandburg – Blair. Thank you for coming, kid. It means a lot to me that you’ve made the trip here, and it’ll mean the world to Jim, I just know it. If anyone can get through to him – give him a reason to fight – it’ll be you. 

“I’ve got my car here, so I can take you straight to Jim’s bedside. Um…that is, unless you have somewhere else to go first?” 

And what else could Blair do but to smile gently in gratitude and relief, replying, “Thanks, man. Yeah, I need to see him. As soon as possible….”  


\----------------------------------  


Shortly afterwards, Simon was carefully negotiating his way through the downtown rush hour traffic on the way to Cascade General, casting the occasional sideways glance at his silent passenger, who was unconsciously chewing his full lower lip nervously as the frown between his brows betrayed his worry and tension. He supposed that he was a little surprised at Blair’s brooding silence, and realised that he had been expecting the Sandburg of old, who would have been talking his ear off by now and almost levitating out of his seat in nervous energy. And that made him really consider the changes in the younger man, both physical and, apparently, in outlook and demeanour also. 

Physically, Blair looked tanned and fit, wiry almost, as if all vestiges of surplus fat had been burned away under tropical weather conditions. The short, grey curls were something of a shock to Simon, whose last sight of the younger man had been while he still sported a head of long, dark auburn locks. His face was lined by time and exposure to the elements, but the underlying bone structure ensured that he was still a handsome man. His eyes were as arresting as Simon recalled, and the strong jaw and full-lipped mouth were much the same also. In short, he had aged well, but maybe not so much in spirit. 

And Simon still felt a pang of guilt for the part he had undoubtedly played in the quenching of that bright energy and enthusiasm. 

He knew that Blair hadn’t had an easy time of it after he had left Jim and Cascade, and he wasn’t proud of his own reaction to the rejection of the badge offer. He realised that their last angry confrontation had very likely provided the final incentive for Blair to give up on his sentinel, and he surely couldn’t blame the kid for that. It hadn’t taken very long for both Simon and Jim to have ‘come to their senses’, so to speak, and recognise that Blair had had the right of it all along. And as Jim later admitted, even if there was no ill-will or censure attached to the offer, Blair was never going to be happy carrying, and as Jim’s official partner, he would be hamstrung to a certain extent in his role as Jim’s guide. Having to follow correct police procedure would have meant that he couldn’t always be at Jim’s back where he needed to be, such that it might well prove difficult, if not actually dangerous, for the older man to use his senses as he should. 

Not only that, but once he was over his resentment and bitterness over what he had thought of as Blair’s betrayal, Jim had confessed that he had acted unfairly in blaming the young man for the whole diss mess, choosing to ignore Naomi’s role in setting the destructive chain of events in motion in favour of clutching his hurt and self-pity to himself. He had accused Blair of going for the brass ring and financial gain, which deep down he knew was totally unfair and unforgivable in view of the young man’s constant support and commitment, but at the time hadn’t been able to force himself to retract the cruel words. 

And so Blair had finally given up in despair, and set about the hard task of trying to create a new life for himself without the support system that Jim had been able to call on. 

Simon himself had felt guilty enough to eventually track Blair down, and had sent him a long email, explaining and apologising for his unjustifiable behaviour. It was to Blair’s eternal credit that he was of such a forgiving nature, and he had responded with far more understanding that Simon believed he deserved. 

From then onwards, Simon had taken it upon himself to keep track of Blair’s movements and accomplishments, sending him occasional messages updating him on departmental gossip and developments and which also contained information about Jim, which he knew the younger man was grateful to receive. 

But they had never met up or even spoken by phone during all the intervening years, and Simon found himself sincerely sorry for that omission, geographical distance notwithstanding. 

Finally pulling up at the hospital’s main entrance, Simon broke into his passenger’s introspection, saying, “I’ll drop you off here, Blair, and go and find somewhere to park up. You can leave your stuff in the car, and I’ll see you in a few. Jim’s in ICU. Good luck, kiddo!” and with a comforting pat to Blair’s shoulder, he waited while the smaller man seemed to take a moment to gather his courage together before opening the car door. 

“Thanks, Simon. For everything,” he murmured with a sad smile, the honesty and gratitude in the sorrowful blue eyes plain to see. 

He climbed out of the car, and Simon watched him consciously straighten up and pull back his shoulders determinedly as he approached the main entrance, the automatic doors sliding soundlessly open to swallow him up.  


\----------------------------------  


In what seemed like no more than a matter of minutes, Blair found himself sitting beside his best friend, trying hard to control his horrified reaction to Jim’s current condition. As he would have expected, Jim had aged somewhat, and his hair, although perhaps surprisingly not that much sparser than before, was grey now. However, most of the harsh lines on the patrician features were undoubtedly due to recent pain and suffering, as was the unhealthy pallor in the skin beneath and around the oxygen mask covering most of Jim’s lower face. The still powerful torso was swathed in heavy bandages, and various tubes fed medication and nutrients into Jim’s bloodstream while electrodes connected the motionless body to several monitors which bleeped softly in the background. In all honesty, Jim looked more like a corpse already, only his steady breathing evidence that he was still somehow holding onto life. 

Shaking slightly, Blair reached out to grasp the cool hand lying nearest to him on the bedcovers, his fingers automatically stroking gently the soft skin on its back where it wasn’t affected by the cannula inserted in it. 

“Oh, man! Oh Jim,” he breathed almost silently, gamely trying to hold back the tears of sympathy and love that threatened to fall. “It’s so good to see you again, man, but not like this. Never like this. You have to wake up soon, Jim, so we can really talk. We’ve got so much to catch up on, even if you never want to see me again once you’re up and about. I’ll understand, Big Guy, I promise. 

“But first you have to wake up so you can tell me to get lost again. That there’s no going back after all this time.” 

He didn’t expect or receive an answer, or any indication that his presence had been acknowledged, but it didn’t deter him. He was here to help call his friend and erstwhile sentinel back, and that was what he intended to do. So he made himself as comfortable as possible on the visitor’s chair, and began to talk. 

And he talked for hours, far into the night, telling Jim all about what he’d been up to since they had parted. He didn’t dwell on any personal disappointments or unpleasantness, just kept to the bare facts where necessary, or expanding into story-telling mode when describing more light-hearted or interesting incidents. He was aware of Simon arriving to spell him for short intervals while he took bathroom breaks or got coffee, and was more than grateful to the medical staff who all seemed happy to let him stay, explaining that they believed his presence was beneficial to the comatose patient, and to keep talking for as long as he liked. 

It was only when exhaustion threatened to overwhelm him that he weakened and quietly confessed his love for Jim, believing that it was falling on deaf ears anyway, and only praying that it wouldn’t be his last opportunity to tell the man to his face even if it earned him Jim’s disgust thereafter. 

He was unaware of the moment when his head drooped to rest beside their clasped hands and he sank into much-needed slumber, oblivious to the ICU nurse who gently spread a blanket over his shoulders, smiling softly as she left quietly on rubber-soled shoes.  


\------------------------------  


Jim was floating. Warm, weightless and pain-free he was in no hurry to go anywhere any time soon. He felt desperately tired, but the feeling wasn’t unpleasant. More like he felt no urge to fight it; just relax and accept the encroaching oblivion that beckoned enticingly as he sank deeper and deeper beneath the layers of comforting darkness. 

However, even as he tried to ignore it, a faint buzzing began to make its presence known, a buzzing that seemed to be calling him back, distracting him from his desire to give in and just float away. It was growing increasingly irritating, and if he could, he would have tried to block it out, but it just wasn’t happening. 

And as his annoyance increased, so did his realisation that he actually knew what it was. Yet _why_ it was confused him. Blair’s voice. The voice he hadn’t heard, but had missed dreadfully for nearly sixteen years. A voice that had always had the power to make him listen, even if he didn’t like what he was hearing. A voice that had called him back from many a zone-out with the ease of familiarity and instinctive capability. A voice without which he had denied his gifts, not wishing to make use of them without the reassurance of its siren call. 

But Blair was miles away, across the other side of the continent. Why would he be here, wherever ‘here’ was? 

Suddenly, his eyes seemed to open to the vision of a long-forgotten, blue-tinged jungle scene, and with a grimace of partial annoyance, and partial curiosity, he gazed around him and then down at himself. 

_Well, whadd’ya know? Same old camo pants, vest and bandana combo!_ he thought wryly. _At least I’m not a jaguar this time._

But he wasn’t in the least bit surprised to see the figure of Incacha emerge from the undergrowth at the opposite side of the clearing. 

“Incacha! It’s good to see you, my old friend, but does this mean I’m dead? Not that I mind, you understand. It doesn’t hold any fears for me.” 

“But it could be lonely, Enqueri,” Incacha murmured softly as he approached, only to be pulled into Jim’s arms for a quick but affectionate hug. 

“You mean without Blair, don’t you, old friend?” Jim replied with a despondent sigh and wry grimace. “I know our parting must have disappointed you, especially when I gave up my gifts again. But although I know I was wrong; too impatient and angry with him at the time to listen to reason; later I truly believed I was doing the best thing I could by him by letting him get a life without me.” 

Incacha’s eyes were understanding, but sorrowful as he shook his head slowly. “How wrong you were, Enqueri!” he replied. “By denying your guide, you left him badly hurt and so very alone when you should have been supporting each other through thick and thin. Together you could have overcome all, but apart neither of you would ever be truly fulfilled again. 

“But you have one last chance to find each other again, late though it is. The young wolf has never given up on you, Enqueri, and he is here still. Will you reach out to him this time?” 

Frowning, Jim considered for a moment, wondering what his old friend and shaman meant. But Incacha had never yet let him down, so he felt duty-bound to listen and believe one more time. 

“OK, old friend. If it will help Blair, then I’ll do it. Whatever _it_ is!” 

“Do it for yourself also, Enqueri!” Incacha responded firmly. “Choose to live!” 

The blue jungle abruptly faded, and Jim became aware of several things at once. He hurt like hell, and the soft, bleeping sound of the monitors sounded like klaxons in his ears. _Shit, hell and damnation! The senses are back!_

But a split second later an enticing scent burst on newly-awakened olfactory nerves, and his senses instantly homed in and settled on it and what its presence implied with profound relief. 

Blair was here. 

Cracking open one tired eye, Jim squinted over to glimpse a greying, curly head resting on the white sheets beside their clasped hands, and a tiny smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. But he instinctively realised that any marked disturbance in the read-out of the monitors attached to him would attract unwanted attention, and that was the last thing he needed right now. So he used every bit of his rusty, but still effective skills to control his physical reactions to the best of his ability so that he could simply rest and study the sleeping figure beside his bed for a while longer. 

Relaxing into a comfortable half-doze, Jim dialled down his pain, although not completely, still heedful of his guide’s past advice. _Not too far, man, because although your body needs to heal, a certain amount of discomfort will prevent you from overdoing things!_

_Oh, Chief!_ he thought fondly. _If you only knew how much I missed you!_ But then, using sentinel recall, he began to replay Blair’s words in his head. Specifically his last few sentences. 

“I love you, man, so much! I’ve never had a friend like you, or ever desired another. You’re it for me, Jim, but don’t worry if you don’t feel the same way. Just get better, man. Get well again, so you can rip me another one if you want. All I want – all I’ll _ever_ want – is for you to be well. The world still needs you, man. Be happy, and maybe think of me sometimes….” 

_Oh Chief! If you only knew! I’ve thought of you so many times too. No one has ever meant as much to me as you did, or cared as much for me either, and I was too stupid – too self-centred – to see it. But I’ll make it up to you now, I swear it. You came through for me again when I needed someone, and I’ll never forget it. All debts paid, and starting anew._

_I love you, Chief. And now all you need to do is wake up for me so I can tell you too._

He had no idea as to how long he lay there, quietly contemplating the sleeping man at his side. With his pain dialled down and holding, he was comfortable enough; enjoying the dimly-lit, night-time ward, and in no hurry to alert the doctors to his return to consciousness. It gave him enough time to really study and assimilate the physical changes nearly sixteen years had wrought upon Blair. Like Simon, he was shocked at the grey, short curls, but the small section of Blair’s profile he could see from his position suggested that the younger man’s attractive features remained basically the same. The hand holding his was cool, but calloused; evidence of the physical effort Blair’s chosen subject required of him. Jim just hoped that the change of course had ultimately made Blair happy, but internally he doubted it. Blair, being Blair, would make the best of any opportunity offered in times of trouble, but it didn’t mean to say that he was truly satisfied with it. Although not claiming to be any sort of expert in either field, Jim was an intelligent man and he knew that for Blair, cultural anthropology totally enthralled him, whereas he had previously admitted to Jim, so many years ago, that pure archaeology didn’t hold the same fascination. 

But here he was now, the holder of a PhD in archaeology, and as Incacha had intimated in Jim’s vision, living a life only half fulfilled. In so many ways. 

It was time to try and put things right. For both of them. 

After a while, he decided that the oxygen mask on his face was growing irritating, and was partially blocking his view, so he made an effort to remove it. Carefully cataloguing his various aches and pains, he realised that, even if he wanted to use his left hand; which was presently resting in Blair’s gentle grasp and pressed to his face as he slept; he wouldn’t have been able to, because it had been immobilised with a sort of board contraption. Perhaps his shoulder had been fairly badly injured, and unlikely to allow him to move his arm very well for a while? Grimacing in irritation, he tried to move his right arm instead, and although his progress was slow and somewhat laboured, he managed to pull the mask off his face and over his head. 

Despite his care, however, his movements were enough to rouse the sleeping man at his side, and he turned his head to see Blair push himself up stiffly, to peer myopically up at him. In truth, Jim thought the sight of his friend, tousle-haired, beard-stubbled and with creases on his cheek from the impression of the sheets was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen, and when the bleary blue eyes cleared and widened in unaffected joy and amazement, he couldn’t help but offer a gentle smile in response. 

“Oh, man! You’re awake! Oh, Jim, I’m so glad to see you. You really had us worried there, man,” and Blair reached out with a slightly shaking hand to caress Jim’s cheek, his face momentarily alight with the same unbounded enthusiasm and happiness of the grad student of old. 

However, much to Jim’s dismay, Blair quickly shut down again, seeming to withdraw into himself as if expecting a rebuke, and Jim realised that his friend had changed far more than he had wanted to believe. And how much was that down to his own prior attitude towards his guide? It was certainly a sobering thought. 

Finding his throat too dry to do much more than croak, he flicked his eyes towards the pitcher of water on the nightstand and waggled his eyebrows, grateful that Blair caught on at once. 

“Gods, Jim, you must be so parched and sore! I’ll get you a drink, man. Or do you want me to ring for the nurse? I’m sure they’ll want to know you’re awake at last,” he added diffidently. 

Jim shook his head quickly, not wanting to ruin this moment just yet. When Blair poured a small glass of water, and added a straw, he sipped gratefully for a few moments until the cool liquid had soothed his raw throat enough for him to speak, albeit rather rustily. 

“Not yet, Chief. Want to talk a bit first. They can prod me later,” and he was relieved to see a glimmer of Blair’s happy smile return. 

“What happened to me this time, Chief? How long?” 

“Oh man, you got shot in the back Jim. Nearly a week ago now,” and Blair wasn’t surprised to see Jim’s eyebrows shoot up in astonishment. 

“Apparently you were going to pick up some fishing gear from that specialist shop on Brooker and Main, and there was an attempted robbery at the Cascade Mutual Bank opposite. You ran to the rescue of a blind girl –who is just fine, by the way, just really worried about you – and took two in the back as you were shielding her. Do you remember any of this?” 

Jim frowned, thinking hard, and suddenly it came back to him. The planned fishing trip with Simon, the girl standing alone and vulnerable in the line of fire, and him running across the road to shove her out of the way into a doorway. He recalled the twin blows in his back, and then nothing more until he awoke in a blue vision. And promised Incacha that he would live for Blair’s sake. 

“Yeah. I remember now,” he murmured thoughtfully. “But I didn’t realise it was that long ago. What’s the damage, Chief? Do you know?” 

“Um well, one shot took you high in the left shoulder, Jim, but deflected off your scapula to exit through your upper arm. Not quite through and through, and there’s quite a bit of soft tissue damage and a hairline crack in the scapula itself, which is why your arm’s immobilised, but it should heal OK with a bit of PT.” However, his face became more troubled and he chewed his full lower lip for a moment before continuing, plainly concerned about how Jim would take the next bit of news. 

“Come on, Chief, out with it,” Jim urged gently. “What else, kiddo? I won’t yell at you, promise! I’ve given up on shooting the messenger.” 

Blair offered a weak grin before his face sobered again. “The second shot hit you in the lower back, Jim. It didn’t sever your spinal cord,” he added hurriedly, not liking Jim’s sudden look of horror. 

“The doctors had to perform emergency surgery to remove the bullet, and they said that there was considerable bruising and swelling, and some damage to two vertebrae, but hopefully your movement won’t be too badly affected once you’ve healed. We’re not talking paralysis, man,” he said, squeezing Jim’s hand comfortingly, “but your recovery could take some time. You’ll probably need further surgery to fix the damage to the vertebrae, and you’ll be in a brace or cast for a while, and likely will need a wheelchair to begin with.” 

Greatly relieved, but still puzzled, Jim rasped, “How come I was out for so long, if there was no head injury involved, I wonder? That’s odd.” 

Blair ducked his head before meeting Jim’s perplexed gaze again. “No one knows for sure, Jim, which is why they were so worried for you. It’s true that they deliberately kept you under for a couple of days, to keep you immobile and allow you to rest properly, but when they tried to bring you out of it, you wouldn’t wake up. Once they removed the ventilator, you breathed just fine on your own, but apart from that, nothing. 

“And I’m so sorry it took so long for me to get here, man,” he continued abjectly. “I was on a dig in Sierra Verde when Simon managed to track me down, and it took longer than I wanted to get away. I’m sorry, Jim. Maybe if I’d’ve arrived earlier?” 

Jim shook his head carefully but emphatically. “No, Blair. Don’t you dare blame yourself. I’m just glad that you came at all, Chief. It means the world to me.” He knew that if the time was ever right he would have to tell Blair about his vision. No more secrets between them, he promised himself. But not just yet. Blair was too jittery and anxious right now, and with reason. Time enough for deep, meaningful discussion once Jim was sure that he had convinced Blair of his changed outlook and attitude towards his long-lost friend. 

Any further conversation was prevented by the arrival of one of the ICU nurses, who was doing her level best to hide her obvious pleasure behind a completely unconvincing scowl of disapproval. 

“And how long have you been awake, Captain Ellison? Were you going to let us know any time soon?” 

It was Blair who answered first, as always trying to deflect perceived trouble away from Jim. “Um, sorry, Shania. It wasn’t long ago, honestly. My fault for not ringing for you. I’m sorry. I was just so pleased to see Jim awake…” and he tailed off with a blush as both the nurse and Jim grinned fondly at him. 

“No problem, Blair,” Shania replied sweetly, patting him on the shoulder. “I quite understand. But now I’m here, I’ll take Captain Ellison’s vitals, then I’ll call the doctor to check on him. She’ll be so pleased to see you back with us, Captain,” she continued cheerfully as she bustled about her business quickly and professionally. 

“Jim,” Jim croaked, meeting her quizzical gaze. “Call me Jim, OK?” 

“Shall do, Jim. Now, I’ll just call Doctor Sanchez, and then we’ll see about getting you some proper food. And perhaps getting rid of that?” she added, indicating the catheter bag. 

And Jim’s grin widened in pleasure at the suggestion. No one likes a catheter, after all.  


\---------------------------------  


**Some hours later:**  


Although drowsy again, Jim was feeling much more comfortable and relaxed; looking forward to Blair’s return. Since he had had to undergo a good few procedures now he was awake and aware again, he, with Simon’s back-up, had managed to persuade Blair to go and get a shower, something to eat, and hopefully a few hours’ proper sleep in a real bed. Luckily, although initially reluctant to leave, Blair saw the sense in their suggestion, actually feeling as rough and strained as he looked, so he had gone home with Simon to take advantage of the older man’s freely-offered hospitality. In truth, Jim was a little disappointed that Blair hadn’t taken him up on his offer to use the loft, but he could understand the younger man’s reticence on the subject. After all, he had effectively been kicked out of the place he had once considered as his first proper home not once, but twice, so it was hardly surprising that it no longer held the same feeling of comfort and security for him. 

But the main thing as far as Jim was concerned was that Blair had promised to return as soon as possible, so at least he knew that the younger man wasn’t disappearing again just yet, even though Jim realised that he couldn’t be expected to stay for much longer. He knew that Blair had to get back to his dig as soon as possible. He had other responsibilities to consider now, apart from his apparently undiminished loyalty to Jim, and it would be monumentally unfair of Jim to put any additional pressure on his friend, or guilt him into shirking in his duty to his students and the university. He admitted to himself that he’d like to, though, selfish as it would be. Now he had seen Blair again in the flesh, it was going to be much harder to let him go again, so he began to mull over different scenarios and possibilities of renewing their partnership, but this time allowing Blair to take the lead role. For too long Jim had been the all-important centre of Blair’s universe, and had indeed taken it for granted, hence his appalling treatment of the young man when he perceived himself to have been betrayed. He cringed now at how he had behaved, recalling his self-centred ingratitude and yes, cowardice as he had let Blair take the fall for him. Who was the real Blessed Protector after all? Blair had saved Jim’s life only the second day they had met, pushing him down and safely under that garbage truck when Jim had been zoned on a red Frisbee, and he had been protecting his sentinel and friend doggedly ever since, even when it left him looking foolish and twisting in the wind. It was more than time for Jim to reciprocate, and he was already making tentative plans to do just that. 

The good thing was that Jim was soon to be moved out of ICU to a private room on a regular ward. He was considered to be out of immediate danger now that he was fully conscious again, and had been disconnected from many of the tubes and monitors that had made him feel like a pincushion. He was still attached to a morphine pump, which he could activate as required since he was still in considerable pain, and was under strict orders from Blair not to keep it dialled down too far, but he was blessedly free from the catheter now, and he had even managed to eat a little clear broth and some jello. And why, he thought incidentally, was it always green? 

On the other hand, his left arm and shoulder were now supported by a sling, strapped tightly to his torso, and he had been fitted with a temporary back brace to prevent him from moving too much, so he imagined himself as restricted as he might be if he were wearing a straitjacket. For someone as active as Jim still was, it was going to be very hard living with this level of immobility, albeit temporarily, and he knew that his temper and patience were going to be sorely tried. 

Just then, his thoughts were distracted by the sound of a familiar heartbeat, and Jim looked towards the door, knowing that Blair was in the building and on his way up to the ward. A bright smile lit his face in anticipation of seeing his friend again, and by the time Blair reached the room, he was grinning from ear to ear in welcome. 

Peeping around the door, the younger man almost sidled into the room, his face lighting up in a shy smile of real pleasure as he noted the vast improvement in Jim’s condition. True, the older man was still trussed up like a mummy, but most of the ‘attachments’ were gone, and best of all, the smile on his handsome face was open and clearly meant for Blair alone. 

“Oh, man, you look so much better! Dr Sanchez said that they hoped to move you to a private room later today. That’s great news, isn’t it?” Blair’s sentiments were genuine even if the words were delivered slightly diffidently, and Jim studied his friend speculatively, if fondly, for a moment before he replied. 

“Certainly is, Chief, although it’ll be another day or so before I’ll find out what form of surgery I’ll be having on my back. I won’t be allowed much in the way of movement for a while, I dare say. But once I can cope with a wheelchair, I’m hoping that I’ll be at least fairly mobile soon. There’ll be plenty of PT to follow, though!” he added, with a wry grin. 

He should have expected the look of distress that immediately clouded Blair’s attractive features, even though any unjustified feelings of guilt were in the younger man’s mind, not in Jim’s for once. 

“Gods, I’m so sorry I can’t be here for you for a while, Jim! I would if I could, I swear, but I can’t leave Becca to cope on her own in Sierra Verde for much longer. But the dig has to be wound up by the end of the month anyway. If I can swing it, I’ll try to come back then if you still need me?” 

“Hey, hey, it’s OK, kiddo!” Jim was quick to reassure him. “I understand, Blair, truly. I know you have your own life now, and I’m just so very grateful to you for making the effort to come see me. I don’t expect you to drop everything to nursemaid me, even if you’ve done so in the past. I didn’t appreciate it then, but I do now, Chief. 

“Having said that, I don’t want us to lose sight of each other again, selfish though it is. I really hope that we can keep in touch – visit occasionally?” 

“That’s not selfish, Jim,” Blair replied with a gentle, understanding smile. “It’s what I want more than anything in the world. I’ve missed you so much, Jim. So very much.” 

The sincerity in his words and tone were clear to see, and Jim quietly rejoiced in them. There was hope after all for a real reconciliation, and he thanked the gods for it. _And maybe the next step towards a true life partnership might not be impossible after all,_ he thought wistfully. 

“Me too, kiddo, me too! And as soon as I’m out of here, I’m going to work on ways to keep us together if I possibly can. But first, you need to get back to your struggling students, Dr Sandburg. And I promise you I’ll be waiting for your next communication as soon as you can make it, babe.” 

And at the casual endearment, Blair’s eyes widened and grew shiny with unshed tears of joy, deeply touched at his friend’s unexpectedly unselfconscious display of affection. 

“It’ll be as soon as possible, Jim, I swear! I’m not running away again. Ever.”  


\------------------------------  


**Part 3: A Siren’s Call:**  


**Three weeks later, Sierra Verde:**  


Blair pulled the sodden bandana from his head and mopped his grubby and sweaty face and neck, incidentally thinking – not for the first time – that his short curls were far easier to manage in such conditions than the long locks of his youth. He was physically tired, but still alert, and his sharp eyes missed nothing as he supervised the breaking up of the camp which signalled the end of the expedition. Smiling gently to himself, he admitted that he was proud of his team, and what they had accomplished in a relatively short time, and especially in Becca’s contribution to that success. Despite her misgivings, the young woman had coped admirably in his absence, which had boosted her self-confidence no end. And not only that, but what was undoubtedly the best discovery of all had been made the day before Blair’s return to the site. An almost intact chamber, deep underground, whose walls had been covered in the sort of glyphs Blair had seen in the nearby Temple of the Sentinels so long ago. The inscriptions and pictographs had been painstakingly photographed and recorded for future reference, and Blair was eagerly anticipating studying them on his return to Florida State’s campus in Tallahassee. He knew that he might well have an uphill battle with his own department head, but he truly hoped that he wouldn’t have to hand over his team’s discoveries to the Anthro Department without being allowed to add his observations. The discovery and its context made it the ideal opportunity for a joint investigation between both disciplines which by their very nature should be inter-related. After all, if the writings proved to be what he believed, they were of huge significance to the ‘Sentinel’ phenomenon insofar as they appeared to refer to the role of the Sentinel’s companion, and in truth he was still the only living expert on the subject to the best of his knowledge. 

And at the end of the day, the concept itself had never been called into question after the ‘diss mess’; only his claim to have found a modern example of the real deal. 

His attention was distracted by the arrival of Becca, who smiled happily as she reached his side. 

“Hey, Blair! Everything going to plan so far?” 

Blair’s own grin widened at her cheerful greeting, noting with satisfaction how much more at ease she was with the new familiarity between them. The added responsibility of her few days in charge, plus the trust her mentor and friend had shown in her ability had indeed enhanced her self-esteem, and Blair was pleased to witness it. 

“Hey, Becca! Yep, all seems to be OK so far. I think we’ll be good to go on schedule, and the site’ll be ready for whatever team the Mexican authorities decide to put in place in due course. Let’s just hope that the spirit of cooperation between our two countries’ academic communities will remain intact despite everything.” 

Becca grimaced wryly at her professor’s suddenly sober expression at this last comment, knowing full well where he was coming from. The worsening political tensions between Mexico and the US were a cause for great concern, and they could only pray that the willing collaboration between local and American students wouldn’t be disrupted. 

“You have a point, Prof,” she murmured thoughtfully. “To be denied access to any new information and material culture turned up in future investigations would be disappointing indeed. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that, and that our academic institutions rise above the pettiness of our politicians.” 

“From your lips to God’s ears,” Blair agreed, only half-jokingly. But then he pushed aside the disconcerting thought and grinned happily again, his good humour restored. 

“Enough of the doom and gloom, kiddo,” he chuckled. “We’ve achieved good things here in a remarkably short time, and we can all be proud of that. We’ve got plenty of material to keep us busy for a good while to come, and I for one won’t be sorry to get back to Tallahassee and the comforts of home!” 

Nodding in agreement, Becca stood beside him, watching the activity below, and also surreptitiously scrutinising the man she had known and admired for the greater part of her years of study at Florida State. 

Because Blair was different somehow from the man she thought she knew, but not in a bad way. Far from it, in fact. He had returned from his sudden, unexpected trip a much happier man, and not just in comparison to the devastated and anxious near head-case he had been after receiving that mysterious communication. He seemed to exude a new enthusiasm for life; his blue eyes sparkling from an inner glow too long repressed but now gradually pushing to the fore once more. 

Becca chose to fancy that the change might be due to the discovery of a new-found love, although she was too respectful of his privacy to demand details. And as it happened, she wasn’t so far wrong in that assumption. Blair was indeed in love, but the difference was that whereas his love for Jim had never been in doubt, now he had been assured that his feelings were reciprocated, and the revelation was transformative. 

Not that he was completely convinced, however. He had been hurt and disappointed so many times in his life that he found it prudent to maintain a bit of healthy scepticism in the cause of self-protection, but this was the closest to being truly content he had yet allowed himself to become, and he was enjoying every moment of it for as long as it lasted. 

Lost in their thoughts, the two stood in companionable silence for a few minutes more, before duty demanded they return to the task of overseeing the final stages of packing up their equipment for transporting out of the jungle and back to civilisation.  


\----------------------------------------  


**Jim:**  


The weeks since Jim had awoken to Blair’s unexpected but so welcome presence had been intense to say the least. He had undergone further surgery which had effectively fused and pinned his damaged vertebrae, such that, although he was expected to regain almost full mobility in time, he felt that his days in the PD, even predominantly desk-bound, were numbered. He hadn’t broached the subject with anyone yet, even with Simon, wanting to give himself plenty of time to fully consider his decision, but he had the feeling that his next physical appraisal might make the decision for him. And to be honest, he was surprised to find that the concept of leaving the department didn’t worry him anything like as much as he would have expected, and most of that was because of Blair’s reappearance in his life. 

True, he hadn’t been able to discuss any of this with the younger man, since Blair was still in Sierra Verde until the end of the month, but he had no doubt as to his friend’s sincerity in his desire to resurrect their partnership in whatever shape or form they could manage. Because Blair had been as good as his word when it came to communicating with Jim, and Jim smiled softly to himself as he looked over at his nightstand, where the latest stack of closely-written paper sat. Despite the lack of wireless opportunity, Blair had written daily bulletins, sending them out with local delivery drivers as often as possible to be posted via ‘snail mail’. The contents of the letters had charmed Jim, being full of information imparted in Blair’s own inimitable, cheery fashion, interspersed with tender enquiries after Jim’s condition, and expressing his genuine desire to meet up again as soon as possible. There was no mistaking his heart-felt wish to continue their relationship, even though Jim was well aware that his erstwhile guide was trying hard not to put pressure on Jim to commit to something he didn’t really want. 

_But I really DO want!_ Jim thought fondly. _But I can understand why you’re wary of opening yourself up to ridicule, Chief. Hell, I did it often enough in the past, and the gods only know how much you’ve have to put up with since we parted. But I’m going to try and put it right, babe. And it’s not just because Incacha says I have to!_

His reverie was interrupted by the arrival of Simon, who was a regular visitor and who had taken it upon himself to oversee his oldest friend’s recovery process, for which Jim was heartily grateful. 

“Yo, Jim, my man, how’re you doing? Ready for your next round of torture?” 

Jim responded to his friend’s cheerful greeting with a wry smile and a rueful glance down at the cast that encased and immobilised most of his body. He knew that Simon was referring to the limited physical therapy he was presently undergoing to ensure that his limbs remained supple and his cardio-vascular system got a workout, but he didn’t have to like it. It was a frustrating business, totally unsatisfying to a man such as Jim who actually enjoyed the rigorous routines that kept him in tip-top condition, but he would take what he could get. He had already been assured that the fact that he maintained such a good level of fitness had helped immensely in the treatment of his injuries, and that, plus his own determination, boded well for a relatively rapid recovery. 

“Guess so, Simon,” he replied dryly, “but you don’t have to look so smug! I’ll be up and challenging you to that fishing competition we missed out on before you know it! 

“By the way,” he continued, the expression in his cornflower blue eyes frank and sincere, “I don’t know if I’ve told you how much I appreciate your support in all this. And especially for contacting Blair for me. It’s made all the difference in the world for me.” 

“No problem, Jim,” Simon muttered, plainly uncomfortable with the other man’s praise. “For what it’s worth, I never realised how much I missed the kid until I set eyes on him again. He’s a good man, my friend, and I just wish I’d been more supportive of him when he was working with us.” 

“You got that right, Simon,” Jim agreed sadly. “I’ve known for years now that I behaved like a real asshole towards him, and I never expected him to forgive me, or even deign to see me again. But I should’ve known better. His heart was always bigger than anyone else’s I’ve ever known, and he’s proved it yet again. 

“But you know, he’s pushing 50 now, so we really shouldn’t be calling him ‘kid’ anymore!” he added on a lighter note. 

“Jim, my friend,” Simon chuckled, “compared to us – me in particular – he’ll always be a kid. It’s just the way he is!” 

“Guess you’re right again, Simon, because his letters are still as entertaining as ever. You want to read his latest offering? He asks after you in it.” 

Simon smiled his thanks as he picked up the sheaf of papers. He was soon chuckling quietly at their contents, although his eyes were a little moist when he finished and replaced them on the nightstand. 

“You know,” he said, with just the suspicion of a catch in his deep voice, “that boy always did know how to cheer people up, even when he was feeling like shit himself. Gotta be the most unselfish person I ever met.” 

“Yep, you said it,” Jim agreed quietly, and both men were silent for a moment, wrapped in their own thoughts until roused by the entrance of Jim’s altogether way-too-chirpy therapist. 

The bouncy young woman addressed Jim with enthusiasm tinged with overt, wicked glee as she rubbed her hands together in a business-like fashion. 

“So, Jim, are we ready to get working?” 

With a theatrical moan and roll of his eyes, Jim met Simon’s unsympathetic grin, and all three turned their attention to enduring the exercise session.  


\------------------------------  


**Shortly afterwards, Blair’s office, Tallahassee Campus:**  


Blair slowly replaced the handset of his desk phone, and stared bemusedly at the object as if it had miraculously turned into some alien artefact. He hardly dared believe the proposition he had just received during the last call, and his emotions veered wildly between euphoria and eager anticipation, and a niggling terror that he had entirely misread the situation and that it might yet blow up in his face. Leaning back in his chair, he pushed away from his desk a little, trying to rein in his roiling thoughts in an effort to find his centre. He wasn’t so far gone that he wasn’t conscious of the fact that he was no use to either himself or anyone else in this hyper-anxious state, but the urge to leap to his feet and run around the campus screaming hysterically was very tempting right now. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes and slowly began to relax, allowing his thoughts to replay the most recent conversation and also consider the content of the many previous calls which had become so very important to him. 

As soon as he had returned to Tallahassee, the first thing Blair had done was to call Jim at the exclusive – and expensive - ‘half-way house’ where his friend was undergoing a rigorous programme of physical therapy intended to restore as much mobility as possible in the shortest possible time. He recalled that his heart had been in his mouth as he waited for Jim to pick up, hoping against hope that Jim hadn’t changed his mind about resurrecting their friendship, and that he wasn’t setting himself up for another disappointment. But within minutes of hearing that beloved voice, he knew instinctively that, in Jim’s more sober and restrained manner, the older man was as excited and anxious as he was to resume as much communication as possible. They had quickly fallen into a routine of calling each other almost daily, and the ritual had swiftly become the high point of Blair’s day. 

Part of the time was taken up with enquiries about each other’s daily routines, with Blair insisting on hearing every last detail concerning Jim’s progress and current state of health. In particular, he was worried about how Jim was coping with his reawakened senses, but was reassured when Jim told him exactly how he was feeling. According to Jim, once his senses had reawakened in Blair’s presence, this time he had accepted them for what they were. Instead of fighting them, he had discovered that he was comfortable with them. The dials felt natural - as they should always have done if he hadn’t been so obstinate – and as long as he had a few items of Blair’s on hand with which to ground himself; left behind for that very reason; he was able to control them with ease as long as he wasn’t using them for anything too rigorous. 

On the other hand, Blair was quietly astounded at the way Jim had turned the tables on him, this time demanding to know all about Blair’s progress in studying the new material from the ‘Guide Temple’ site. This in itself was pretty amazing, considering the indifference he had previously displayed in regard to anything to do with Blair’s academic career. This mellower, more tractable Jim was a delight to deal with, and Blair could only pray that the change was here to stay, having suffered so much in the past from the older man’s scorn and yes, admittedly self-centred demands. 

The wonderfully changed attitude was even more obvious insofar as Jim had insisted that Blair shouldn’t jeopardise his position at Florida State by absenting himself again so quickly on his return from Sierra Verde on grounds that his Head of Department would almost certainly regard as trivial. 

Although Blair had almost pleaded to be allowed to return to Jim’s side to help him through the early stages of his therapy, Jim had refused to consider it, assuring Blair that although his presence would be more than welcome, Jim realised and accepted at last that it wasn’t all about him. He had had enough of treating Blair like some sort of willing menial, relying on the younger man’s big heart and good nature to keep him at Jim’s side. Instead, he wanted to base their new relationship on equality and love, and was prepared to do everything in his power to enable that. 

Such sentiments, so honestly stated, had had the power to reduce Blair to tears, and he had felt duty bound to reciprocate by asking Jim for his forgiveness for Blair’s own sins of omission. 

If only they had communicated with each other during the ‘diss mess’ and during the ‘Alex mess’ that preceded it, Blair was sure that their gradual breakup would never have happened. But again Jim had surprised him, and Blair recalled his very words. 

“Look, Chief, I’ve been thinking hard about this, and about everything that went wrong between us. I’ve had years in which to consider my behaviour, and I’m not proud of it. For a start, I was wrong to read that opening chapter when I promised not to. It was hypocritical of me to accuse you of betrayal when it was me who had betrayed you. 

“Yeah, sure, I was upset by what I read, but I refused to listen to your explanation, I was so wrapped up in my own self-pity. And you sure got it right about the ‘fear-based responses’, kiddo! 

“But I have to tell you Chief, that I actually read the copy of your finished diss that you left for me. It was brilliant, Chief, and put everything you said about the opening chapter into context. I felt like the biggest, most narrow-minded fool in the world after I read it, and I have to say that, once he had read it also, Simon admitted exactly the same thing. Once he’d done kicking my ass for a stupid, selfish idiot, that was. 

“Anyway, babe, what I’m trying to say is that although I don’t claim to be perfect all of a sudden, I have grown up some at last, and have begun to appreciate all you did for me – all you gave up – and I want to put it right. 

“If you still want me, babe, I’m all yours. From now on, it’s your life and career that will take precedence, and because of that I have a proposition to make. 

“As soon as I’m mobile enough, I want to come visit, Chief. I have vacation time out the wazoo to claim, as well as disability time, and I want to spend it with you in Tallahassee. What do you say?” 

And what else could Blair do but to accept with sincere gratitude and burgeoning joy. 

Jim was coming. Coming here to see him. Hallelujah!  


\----------------------------------  


**Part 4: Call it as you see it:**  


Less than a week later Blair sat in the private lounge at Tallahassee Airport, anxiously awaiting the arrival of Jim’s flight. And not just any flight, but a private jet no less, commissioned for Jim’s personal use at the behest of Jim’s brother Steven, who was now heading up their recently deceased father’s company, Ellison Enterprises Inc. According to Jim, as soon as his younger brother – with whom he was now on much more cordial terms – heard that Jim wanted to make the trip to Florida, he insisted that Jim make use of the company Lear Jet. Jim would be able to travel in comfort, and also avoid unnecessary waiting around at the airport, which would take a toll on both his patience and his still-healing body. After a token show of reluctance, more because he knew Steven would expect no less of him, Jim had accepted gracefully, knowing that his body would thank him for it. 

When Blair had admitted to a little surprise at Jim’s easy capitulation, he had been rewarded with a somewhat astonishing confession, delivered in a diffident, almost self-mocking tone, as if Jim was expecting some form of deprecating comment from his friend. Of course, Jim soon realised that he should have known better, as all Blair expressed was acceptance and understanding, but the gist of the explanation had actually provided his gentle and forgiving soul with no little relief on Jim’s behalf. 

Jim had told Blair how over the years he had built bridges, not only with his brother, but also to a certain extent with his estranged father, freely admitting that his change of heart was mostly due to Blair’s past influence. The family reconciliation had progressed to a point where, on William Ellison’s recent death, Jim was no longer so intent upon spurning his inheritance. 

True, he wanted nothing to do with running the company, knowing that in Steven’s willing and capable hands it would continue to prosper. Neither did he want the half of William’s personal fortune to which he was entitled, believing that Steven and his young family deserved the greater share. 

He did, however, reluctantly accept a proportion of William’s wealth, to the tune of several million dollars, which up until now had remained untouched in an investment fund ‘for a rainy day’. 

And as Steven had firmly pointed out, if Jim’s injury and recuperation didn’t count as a ‘rainy day’, what did? 

Thus persuaded, Jim had used some of his funds to cover additional expenses, bolstering the medical insurance he already had through the PD and ensuring that no corners were cut either in his treatment or his recovery. 

Not only that, but knowing how much of a financial cushion he had to fall back on, Jim wasn’t overly concerned about the outcome if he was forced to take a medical discharge from the PD after all. In fact, although he had yet to broach the subject with Blair; wanting to make sure their relationship was on a firm footing first; the likelihood of him returning to work, even if he was passed as fit for duty, was looking less and less tempting. 

Of course, knowing nothing of Jim’s plans for the future, Blair was simply excited at the notion of having Jim near him again, although it had to be said that his ever-present lack of self-confidence still tried to pick at his determinedly optimistic attitude. He was therefore on hyper-alert as he tried vainly to relax into the comfortable chair on which he was seated. He could feel his heart thundering in his chest as the arrival time drew near, and although he had both hands thrust deep into his pockets in an effort to keep his fingers from tapping out a nervous, staccato rhythm on the nearest hard surface, he was unable to entirely control the jiggling knee that bounced annoyingly and continuously up and down. Luckily, there was no one close enough to complain, so he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself down, firmly telling himself that everything was going to be all right, and that Jim wouldn’t be making all this effort if he didn’t want to pursue their partnership once again. 

And then the Lear landed, and Blair jumped to his feet in excitement, eager to see his love again after far too long.  


\--------------------------------  


**Shortly after, on the way to Blair’s house:**  


Peering over at his passenger from the driving seat of his pre-owned SUV, Blair knew his wide, sappy grin must make him look like a lunatic, but he couldn’t have prevented it if he tried. And he didn’t want to. From the moment Jim had disembarked from the Lear, albeit in a wheelchair, his infectious smile had been plastered in place, and it didn’t take some sort of empath, or even an individual with heightened senses, to know that Jim’s response, if less demonstrative, was equally sincere. 

“Oh man, I can’t believe you’re really here!” he repeated for the umpteenth time. “But you had me worried for a while when I saw you in that chair, Jim. I mean, my place is all on one level, but I’m not sure how good the access would be for a wheelchair in all respects. It’s not really that big,” he added worriedly. “I hope you’ll be comfortable enough?” 

“Stop angsting, Chief!” Jim replied with a fond grin. “I can walk, albeit with a cane for now, but not very far or fast yet, and I knew I’d stiffen up some in the flight, even in something as comfortable as the company jet. But I didn’t want to keep you waiting, so I let the flight attendant do the honours. I might need the chair on and off for a while, but my back’s healing pretty well all in all, even if I still have to put up with the brace support. It’s not like being in the full body cast, after all. Now _that_ really was a pain in the ass!” 

Immediately contrite, Blair’s happy face fell as unwarranted guilt struck again. “Oh, man! I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been there for you then. It must have been so frustrating for you. I can barely comprehend how someone as fit and active as you could stand such enforced inactivity. I should have been there to help.” 

“And that’s enough of that, Chief!” Jim replied firmly. “One, I had Simon to act as cheerleader, and to kick my butt when I needed it. And just being able to talk to you once you were back from Sierra Verde was enough to lift my spirits no end. And did I tell you how much I enjoyed your letters? Anytime I felt angry or frustrated, all I had to do was re-read one of them, and I felt so much better. You’re a gifted and entertaining correspondent, Chief. You could make a fortune in a second career as a travel writer. 

“And let’s not forget, babe, that I’ve been able to afford the best treatment and accommodation, thanks to Dad’s legacy, so I certainly have no right to complain. As long as I keep up the therapy routines in the clinic you found for me while I’m here, I’ll be fine.” 

Reassured, Blair relaxed again, and the smile soon returned to his face. “Thanks for saying that, man. I admit I still worry about you – can’t help it – never could! And I’m so happy to have you here. I want to spoil you rotten, if you’ll let me!” and his chuckle was infectious, bringing an affectionate smile to Jim’s face. 

“Oh, I’ll let you, all right, Chief. You always did your best by me, even if I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but now I intend to enjoy every minute of your company. Spoil away!” 

And he was rewarded by a spontaneous outburst of unaffected, delighted laughter, making him realise just how much he had missed the younger man’s uncomplicated joy and love of life. It was something he’d never take for granted again.  


\---------------------------------  


Shortly afterwards, they were approaching Blair’s home, and Jim gazed around in open interest, curious to see just where and what had finally persuaded his friend to enter the property market. Blair’s small, single storey house was located in a quiet, older development among other, similar properties, all of which appeared to be tidy and well-kept, and were accessed by clean, tree-lined roads. The abundance of leafy shrubs and vibrant colours in the mature yards were a delight to the eye, and Jim could well understand why Blair would settle in such an environment. He suspected that it was the sort of area which attracted older, retired couples or singles like Blair rather than those with young families, but the peaceful atmosphere was certainly soothing, and he could envisage himself settling in a similar situation. 

As Blair pulled up in his driveway, he turned to face Jim, slightly uneasy despite his grin. “Well, here it is, Jim. Home, sweet home, and my first house purchase,” and he snickered a little self-consciously, as if expecting a snide remark in response. 

“It looks great, Chief,” Jim offered gently, reaching over to give his friend’s shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “How long have you owned it?” 

Plainly relieved by Jim’s approving attitude, Blair replied, “Just over two years now, man. I finally got fed up with living in apartments, sharing facilities and such. I think I’m getting too old and set in my ways to appreciate noisy neighbours and limited parking, so here I am. It belonged to one of my ex-colleagues who was moving to another state, and she let me buy it at a very good price. And I have to say I love it. I haven’t done much to it in respect of home improvements and such, because it was in good shape, but I really enjoy pottering around in the yard. Naomi would have been proud of me, but I never knew how relaxing and therapeutic gardening can be. Must really be getting old, huh?” 

“Nah, Chief. You’ll never be old,” Jim assured him affectionately. “And I can understand why you’d like gardening. After all, home improvements do the same for me. You recall how I always had some project or other going on in the loft? I’m still the same!” 

Grinning happily, Blair opened the driver’s door and climbed out, saying over his shoulder, “I’ll just open up then, and come back for your bags, Jim. Will you need the chair, or shall I take it inside? Whatever’s best for you, man.” 

“I’ll use the cane, Chief. I need to stretch my legs a little after all that sitting around. It might take a while to get inside, though!” and he chuckled ruefully as he carefully turned in his seat and swung his legs around in preparation for standing. And of course within seconds Blair was there, ready and waiting to offer his assistance as Jim shook his head fondly. “Thanks, Chief. I can always rely on you!” 

In truth, Jim really was feeling stiff and sore, but he was determined to enter his friend’s home on his own two feet, and with Blair’s support he was able to do so. As soon as he crossed the threshold, Blair was already guiding him towards a comfortable-looking overstuffed armchair, where he settled with a sigh of relief. 

“That’s great, Chief,” he said, resting his head back as he closed his eyes for a moment, working on dialling down the pain that the movement had caused. He opened them to find Blair squatting down in front of him, big blue eyes wide and worried as he gazed up into Jim’s faintly quizzical expression. 

“Are you really OK, Jim?” he murmured anxiously. “Would you like to lie down for a while? Can I get you anything?” 

“I’m fine, babe. Chill out, OK? It’s always a bit painful after I’ve been sitting around for too long. I just need to relax a bit, then I’ll be able to move again. Believe me, Chief, I’ve done enough lying down flat on my back to last me a lifetime!” 

“Well, if you’re sure, Jim,” Blair replied, still not totally convinced. “Um, that chair’s actually a recliner. I bought it thinking it might be better for you than just sitting or lying flat. Dr Ambrose sold it to me, and he said it had helped him a lot after he injured his back in a bad fall a couple of years ago.” 

Smiling at this evidence of yet another example of Blair’s care and thoughtfulness, Jim murmured, “Couldn’t be better, Chief, and thank you for thinking about it. Let’s give it a shot, shall we?” and Blair’s face lit up with pleasure at the small praise as he reached for the controller, handing it over to Jim. 

“There you go, man. You can play with it until you find the best position, and meantime, I’ll take your bags into the guest room. It has an en suite shower room, and I think the bed’s comfortable enough. It has a new mattress, and I bought the sort of support pillows you like….” 

The rest of his rambling remarks were lost on Jim as the older man, having adjusted the recliner to a truly comfortable position, had fallen deeply asleep. 

Unconsciously nibbling his full lower lip, Blair gazed down at his friend’s relaxed and handsome face, grateful to note how the lines of stress and pain had smoothed out as he slept. His own expression was one of pure love and concern touched with a little anxiety as he contemplated the next few days in each other’s company. He prayed that he wouldn’t mess things up again, hoping against hope that this wouldn’t turn out to be just a brief interlude in his now mundane life. For sure, Jim certainly seemed to be a changed man, warm and appreciative and more communicative than he had ever been before, but whether they both had what it took to re-forge their friendship into something permanent had yet to be seen. 

With a soft sigh, Blair turned away and busied himself with stowing away the folded-up wheelchair in the hall closet before placing Jim’s two travel bags on the spare bed. He briefly considered unpacking them, but smiled to himself in self-deprecation as he shook his head. No way would his unpacking be up to sentinel standards, and he suspected that even this mellower Jim was as anal as ever about folding and arranging his clothes and toiletries. Better to leave well alone and concentrate instead on preparing the dinner he had planned for them. A dinner of the home-made lasagne that used to be Jim’s favourite, which hopefully would turn out to be a celebratory occasion. The occasion which they would eventually look back on as the first mutual acknowledgement of their reconciliation and renewed commitment to each other. 

He could but dream, anyway.  


\----------------------------------------  


**Later that evening:**  


Blair pottered around the kitchen, humming softly to himself as he finished assembling the lasagne in readiness for putting in the oven. The salads had been prepared and were in the refrigerator, and the garlic bread was ready for the broiler. A bottle of decent Chianti was open and breathing on the counter, and all he needed to do now was set the table. He hadn’t been in any hurry on account of Jim sleeping so soundly, knowing that the rest would be doing his friend a world of good after a day of travelling. 

However, if he had but realised it, Jim had actually woken up some short while ago, and had taken the opportunity to quietly study his surroundings, and in particular watch Blair as he moved around the kitchen, his graceful, economical movements pleasing to the sentinel’s eye. 

The interior fixtures and fittings of Blair’s small home were somewhat dated, but well-maintained, and the décor reflected his friend’s character so well. Clean, but slightly untidy – at least in comparison to Jim’s immaculately regimented apartment – it was bright and cheerful, its surfaces covered with a scatter of trinkets and inexpensive but undoubtedly precious artefacts. Jim smiled to himself at the sight of a familiar tribal mask on one wall, and he recognised a colourful afghan thrown over the back of the sofa. An older style TV sat in one corner of the open plan great room, next to an equally elderly stereo system, and Blair’s eclectic collection of CDs were packed somewhat haphazardly into a shelf unit alongside. The small but adequately fitted kitchen was located behind a Formica-topped counter at the opposite side of the room, with a cosy dining area situated beside a large picture window which looked out into the pretty but private back yard. 

By turning his head slightly, Jim could glimpse what appeared to be Blair’s office-cum-den through an open doorway to one side of him, and it was easy to infer from the cluttered, PC-and-paper-covered desk and over-full, floor-to-ceiling bookcases that this was where his friend spent most of his time at home. There was no indication that there was, or had ever been, any sort of roommate or Significant Other in Blair’s life and present home, and the thought sobered Jim even as he recognised the selfishness inherent in his relief at the discovery. Outside of his academic career and his gardening, it would appear that Blair had little more with which to occupy himself, and Jim was saddened to think that it was partly his fault for pushing his friend away when he should have been supporting him. It was time to put things right, and now was as good a time to start as any. 

Just then, Blair glanced up and caught Jim’s eyes upon him, and he blushed involuntarily at the realisation that his friend had been studying him for the gods only knew how long. 

“Uh, Jim, you’re awake,” he muttered unnecessarily. “I’m sorry, man. I didn’t realise. Is there anything I can do for you before I put the dinner on?” 

“Actually, Chief, yes there is,” Jim answered with a gentle smile. “Could you come over here for a moment?” 

He looked into Blair’s eyes, and read the longing tinged with trepidation lurking in the blue depths, and he knew to his shame that Blair had good reason to doubt his good intentions on account of his on-again, off-again past behaviour towards his guide and friend. But this time he wanted there to be no such doubts. 

“C’mere,” he murmured again, holding out his arms in invitation. 

Blair stepped forward hurriedly, knowing only that Jim wanted to stand, and that he was ready and willing to help. He gently grasped the large, warm hands in his own, and helped ease Jim to his feet, waiting while the taller man found his balance. 

And then found himself enfolded in Jim’s powerful but gentle embrace, and it was everything he had ever dreamed it would be. Unlike the manly, impulsive hugs they had occasionally exchanged in the past, this was full of tenderness and the promise of real affection, maybe even the love he longed to have reciprocated. Allowing himself to believe just a little more in this much-desired possibility, Blair relaxed into the embrace, raising his arms to hug Jim back, his hands clutching at the soft material of the taller man’s sweater at the small of his back, and sighing in contentment. 

As for Jim, he marvelled at the way Blair seemed to fit so snugly against him; warm and solid like the man himself; and he knew at long last that this time he wasn’t going to ruin it for either of them again. 

They stayed that way for long minutes, soaking up the mutual warmth and affection, until Blair gently pushed away from Jim’s hold, but only far enough so he could study Jim’s face. Eyes shining in joy and adoration, he finally spoke, voice deep but muted by the depths of his emotion. 

“Oh, Jim, man. Please tell me this means what I hope it does? Because I need to tell you, man, that I love you, and I want this more than anything in the world.” 

“Then my wish has been granted, babe,” Jim replied softly, his own eyes suspiciously moist as he met Blair’s wondering gaze. “I know now that this is how it was meant to be between us and that it was my own stubbornness and stupidity that refused to recognise the fact. Incacha had the right of it as always, and he told me so in no uncertain terms when he told me to come back for you. I’m just so sorry that it took me so long.” 

Blair smiled wistfully as he considered Jim’s words for a moment. “No worries,” he said, deliberately channelling their Aussie ex-colleague in order to lighten the atmosphere a little. “I’m sorry too, Jim, that I didn’t have the guts to stand up to you and Simon at the time. I allowed you to push me away rather than push back and make you see me. 

“But it’s not too late is it? Not too late to make a life together again?” 

“No, babe it’s not,” Jim replied with profound relief as he pulled the smaller man into his arms again. 

“Not too late at all.”  


\------------------------------------  


The rest of the evening passed quietly and unremarkably, but was no less mutually satisfying for all that. Having professed their love for one another openly and honestly, there seemed to be no need for fanfare and dramatics, just whole-hearted acceptance and the comfort of deep, unquestionable affection. Blair finished cooking their dinner while Jim looked on from the recliner, happy for once to let his soon-to-be lover and best friend wait on him while he rested up, husbanding his strength and energy for later. 

As for Blair, there was a definite bounce to his movements as he worked, looking up frequently to grin happily over at Jim, neither of them needing inconsequential chat as they came to terms with the wonder of their new commitment. 

The actual meal was a thoroughly enjoyable affair, involving a lot of smiling, and compliments to the chef. Blair put on some soothing background music, and by the time they had progressed to the after-dinner coffee stage, Jim was wilting again despite his good intentions. However, Blair was quick to reassure him that everything was fine, and that he wasn’t disappointed at all. After all, it had taken years to reach this point, so that a few weeks longer weren’t going to hurt them. All he wanted was for Jim to be fit and well again; everything else could wait until then. 

Having said that, the evening was quietly pleasurable anyway for both men. Snuggling on the sofa was out of the question on account of Jim’s back, and the fact that his shoulder still wasn’t 100%, but once he was comfortably ensconced in the recliner again, Blair dragged over a comfy, leather-covered beanbag, which he dropped beside Jim’s chair. Plopping down on that, he was able to lean up against the arm of the recliner on Jim’s good side, close enough to see and touch his friend, and have Jim’s hand pet and stroke his face and hair in return. It might have seemed a pitiful excuse for the physical activity they would have preferred to indulge in, but it was pleasurable for all that, especially as it gave them the opportunity to talk uninhibitedly. 

And talk they did. 

Surprisingly enough, it was Jim who got the ball rolling again, the role reversal apparently having developed significantly during the long years of their estrangement. The once dour, taciturn army-ranger-turned–cop had mellowed and learned to live with himself, warts and all, and was no longer prone to the automatic self-defensiveness which had caused so many head-butting contests in the past. As for Blair, circumstances had forced him to withdraw into himself in an effort to protect himself from constant criticism and ridicule such that he no longer offered any opinion unless asked. Indeed, it had saddened Jim to recognise that his friend was so changed from the pushy, smart-mouthed student of the past, but it in no way diminished his attraction towards the younger man. So as he sat there, relaxed and replete, his fingers carding through the greying curls on the head resting comfortably against the arm of the recliner, he began to talk. To tell Blair about his life in the intervening years and filling in the gaps which they hadn’t yet had time or the confidence to reveal. 

And as he talked, Blair shifted a little so that he could rest his chin on his folded hands the better to watch Jim’s face as the older man spoke; totally enthralled not just from the content of Jim’s speech, but at the fact that the man seemed so comfortable now with the very concept of verbal communication. 

With a small, self-deprecating smile, Jim described candidly how he had retreated into angry, self-righteous spite for weeks after Blair had left, perceiving himself to have been the wronged party. But after a while, and not without a few good proverbial kicks up the backside from his friends and colleagues, he began to see himself for what he was, and the revelation hadn’t comforted him at all. 

Having said that, he told of his decision not to try and persuade Blair to return, believing that the young man deserved a chance to find a life of his own without Jim’s interference. Only now did he realise that in doing so, he had in fact condemned both of them to years of mediocrity rather than fulfilment. 

At that point, Blair had tried to interrupt, wanting to ‘fess up to his own weakness in that respect, only for Jim to gently cover his mouth. 

“No, Blair. You did nothing wrong there. You had every right to believe that we were done after the things I said to you that night. And like I said, Simon realises that he shouldn’t have interfered either. But that’s water under the bridge. 

“Thing is, although I felt much better towards you, and eventually towards myself, for that matter, I never felt the urge to find myself another partner on the job. No one understood me like you did, babe, so there was no point in going for second best. And as it turned out, that went for personal relationships too. 

“True, at one point I thought I’d found a likely partner in one of Beverley Sanchez’s colleagues from the DA’s office, but thank the gods, we both realised what a mistake it would have been before we took the plunge. Can we say ‘Carolyn Plummer Mk 2?’ You’d have thought I’d have known by now that that type of strong, career-minded woman was incompatible, but no. Suffice it to say, we parted as friends, and I never tried too hard after that. 

“And when all’s said and done, Chief, I haven’t been unhappy. If I couldn’t have the person I really wanted in my life, I was happier with my own company than with a placeholder, because that was all any other person, male or female, would have been. And don’t even think about feeing sorry on my behalf, Chief. Right now, ‘sorry’ is the last thing I’m feeling!” 

It came as no surprise to note Blair’s misty-eyed expression anyway, knowing only too well how the soft-hearted younger man would always put others’ hurts and feelings before his own, so Jim simply smiled warmly and understandingly as he cupped Blair’s cheek with his palm, running his thumb gently along the smooth skin of the plump lower lip. 

“So, Chief, that’s what I’ve been up to. How about you, babe? Have you managed OK?” 

He knew as he said it that Blair had been anything but ‘OK’, but wanted to hear it from Blair’s own lips. Even so, he was well aware that Blair would most likely try to ‘obfuscate’, and make out that things had been far easier for him than had actually been the case, but this time Jim wasn’t going to allow himself to take the easy way out and be fobbed off with the edited version. 

Blair plainly read and understood the gentle but insistent expression on Jim’s face and in his demeanour, and for a second a flash of obstinacy crossed his own mobile features. Seconds later, however, he berated himself for his own stubborn pride. After all, hadn’t Jim just come out and bared his soul openly and honestly for Blair to see for perhaps the first time ever? It was only fair that Blair reciprocate, but he certainly didn’t have to like it. Sighing deeply, he averted his gaze for a moment, trying to screw up his courage, and then began to speak. 

And oh, it was so hard! For someone who had loved the spoken word so much in his youth, this was like trying to get blood from a stone. He began by automatically trying to modify and gloss over the hardships he had faced in the early days, but a swift glance into Jim’s understanding eyes tacitly informed him that it wasn’t going work, and that he’d better bite the bullet. Shoulders slumping in defeat, he offered Jim a small, wry smile of resignation, and recommenced his tale. 

And this time he didn’t hold back. He told Jim of his hurt and shame as he was told again and again that he was a disgrace to his chosen subject, and to academia as a whole. Shunned by so many he had thought of as friends, he had had no choice but to cut his ties with everything and everyone he had held dear in Cascade and at Rainier, in order to try and create a new life far away. 

But even though there was a considerable geographical distance between Tallahassee and the site of his downfall, by its very nature academia was an intimate ‘closed shop’, and it was inevitable that he wouldn’t be able to hide under the radar for any length of time. 

And so it had turned out to be. Although he had been given a second chance to prove himself in a related subject, there were still those who couldn’t forgive him for bringing what they perceived as disrepute to their rarefied, ‘ivory castle’ existence, or others who gleefully resurrected the whole miserable debacle whenever possible just to see him squirm. 

At one point, Blair had to pause in order to pull himself together; the reliving of the early years being too painful to shrug off with an unconvincing show of nonchalance. However, the gentle, steady hand caressing his face and hair served to calm and settle him relatively quickly, and once he had begun to cover the later years, the tale became easier anyway. 

He described how he had obtained his PhD, and how he had managed to reinvent himself successfully enough to finally be accepted on faculty as a valued member of staff. His demeanour lightened considerably as he described his students, and how much he enjoyed teaching again, especially since the vast majority of them were too young to know his previous history, or to care if they did. And he had had some very good TAs, not the least of whom was his present friend and assistant, Becca Davenport. 

“She’s something else, Jim,” he enthused, genuinely happy to talk about this more recent aspect of his life. “She was great when I basically dumped the responsibility of the dig onto her shoulders. I knew she could do it, even if she wasn’t so sure, and at the end of the day I think it actually did her the world of good. She realised she had the capability and the leadership skills after all to take on what was a pretty big expedition for a first attempt, and she’s totally focussed on helping me interpret all the documentary material we brought back with us.” 

This was the point at which Jim decided to explore Blair’s personal life, if the younger man would allow it. After all, he needed to know for sure that he wasn’t trying to usurp anyone’s place in Blair’s life, even though he was fairly certain that his instincts were correct in deducing that Blair himself had no present on-going relationship. 

It appeared, however, that Blair had no problem with the topic. He had already declared that as far as he was concerned, Jim was it for him, and he wanted to make that clear also. 

“No, man, there hasn’t been anyone for years now. It’s OK. To tell the truth, in the early years after I left Cascade, I was too raw – too scared – to open myself up to possible ridicule. After a few aborted efforts, I gave up trying to actively pursue relationships. I mean, not everyone was unpleasant. I have made some good friends on and off campus over the years, but no one close. See, there were a few times when I thought people actually still liked me for myself, whatever I was supposed to have done in my past, but it turned out only too often that once they had found out about me, they dropped me like a hot brick, and weren’t too tactful about it. So I gave up trying. 

“S’OK, man. It doesn’t happen much now – too long ago, and I’ve got a pretty good rep here now. And I’ve got you now, which is all I ever wanted. Um, I _do_ have you, don’t I?” 

This last was murmured with a touch of shy uncertainty, so Jim was quick to reassure him. “You sure do, babe, for better or for worse. You better believe it!” 

Blair’s smile was wide and uncomplicated as he beamed up into Jim’s smiling face. 

“For better or for worse…I like the sound of that, man!” he replied, voice warm and unconsciously seductive. 

“Anyhow, I’m nearly done with the life story, man. But there’s just one thing you really need to know, because I don’t want you to have any misconceptions, OK?” 

And genuinely intrigued, Jim simply nodded, an attractive, mystified expression on his handsome face. 

“OK, here goes, but don’t jump to any rash conclusions, OK? Thing is, I’m actually a Dad. Or at least, the sperm donor for a kid. Don’t look so shocked, Jim, please. It’s not what you think, I’m sure. Let me explain. 

“See, a few years ago, I did make a really good friend in one of the adjunct Anthro professors. Her name’s Davina Hollings, and she made it very clear that she couldn’t care less about my so-called disgrace. This was her house, by the way, which is why I got it at such a good price. 

“Anyway, we got along really well, but there was never anything sexual about it ‘cause she already had a life partner in Olga. Olga Morozova; a chemical engineer who emigrated from the Ukraine several years ago. They made a cute couple, and I was grateful for their friendship, Jim. We did a lot of stuff together, because they made it easy for me to integrate better. And when they broached the subject of children, I was happy to supply the wherewithal, if you know what I mean. Really flattered that they should ask. It was Olga who wanted to carry the baby, so I toddled off down to the A I clinic, did the necessary, and the following year later Olga had a beautiful baby girl. They called her Elizabeth Blair. How neat is that? 

“There is a down-side though. See, although Tallahassee is probably the most liberal place in Florida – it’s the only place that regularly returns a Democrat, after all – it’s still not as liberal as all that towards gay couples with kids, and seeing what the current political climate is, I think that they made the right decision to get out of the South altogether. It was hard to see them go, but I understood, and now they’re in Newport, Oregon. I email them regularly, and they update me on little Lizzie Blair’s progress, which is really cool. Wanna see the latest photo?” and when Jim nodded in answer, he tugged his iPhone from his pocket and scrolled down until he found what he wanted. 

And Jim was enchanted at the smiling curly-haired cherub who grinned unselfconsciously at the camera, big blue eyes and dark auburn tresses the image of her father’s. 

“She’s gorgeous, babe. You must be so proud. And I’m proud of _you_ Chief. Just wanted to make sure you know it!” 

Shortly after that final revelation, both men retired to bed, exhausted, but in a good way. Blair went to his own room, and Jim settled down in the guest room prepared for him. Both knew that in time they would be sharing a bed, and were looking forward to that, but for now Jim still needed to heal properly, and didn’t need any sort of night-time gymnastics, even of the gentle variety. It was enough for the time being just to be here, close enough to hear Blair’s beloved heartbeat again, and as he closed his eyes to sleep soundly in what felt like the first time in years, Jim realised just how much he had missed that soothing rhythm. 

Curled up in his own bed, Blair smiled softly as he settled down to sleep; comforted immensely by the knowledge that Jim was once more close to him, and undoubtedly listening in to his every move and bodily function. And the thought troubled him not at all, believing that the sentinel was genetically programmed to guard the companion, and trusting that Jim was also doing it for Blair the man and hopefully, soon-to-be lover. For sure, he had a lifetime of insecurities and low self-esteem to overcome, greatly exacerbated during the years of their separation, but he was determined to do his best to battle his demons, for Jim’s sake if not for his own. For once in his life he had been offered real and constant love and support, and he wasn’t going to waste that precious gift.   


\---------------------------------  


**Part 5: Calling Time:**  


Over the next few days, they fell into a comfortable routine, with both men noting with satisfaction how well they rubbed along together. It was like the early days of their partnership, when they had still been close friends before the diss and Alex Barnes came between them. But this time around, they both intended to make the relationship work, because there was no way either of them wanted to be alone again. 

The private clinic that had been recommended to Jim was located close to campus, so it was no trouble for Blair to drop him off on the way to his office. Most of the time he was able to pick Jim up again after his therapy session was done, but occasionally Jim took a cab home, something he was happy to do. Of course, Jim being Jim, he threw himself into his therapy routines with a will, the drive to get fit again as strong as ever. In fact, he often had to be restrained from overdoing it, which caused a fair amount of frustration even though he recognised the reasoning behind it. He just wanted to get well enough to share a bed with Blair, knowing that the younger man refused to be hurried on the grounds that he was terrified of accidentally hurting Jim. The fact that Jim’s arm and shoulder were virtually completely healed now meant nothing to Blair, who was far more concerned with Jim’s back injury, which unfortunately was taking longer than expected to recover. In fact, it was looking increasingly likely that there would always be a weakness in the lower back despite the successful surgery performed on the damaged vertebrae, so that although Jim should eventually recover most of his mobility, excessive physical activity would no longer be either advisable or possible, and he would have to resign himself to a quieter lifestyle. 

However, on the day that Jim came home from the clinic to break the news to Blair, much to the younger man’s amazement, Jim was surprisingly up-beat about his prognosis. Seated as usual in the recliner, with a worried and upset Blair squatting before him, gripping his hands in a sort of nervous desperation, he offered his friend a rueful grin as he explained what he had been told. 

“It’s OK, Chief, no need to look so tragic, honestly! I know that a few years ago I would most likely be furious at having this dumped on me, but now I guess I’ve calmed down a lot. For sure, I’m not happy to be told that I’m never going to be as I was, but hell, babe, it’s not as if I’m going to be wheelchair-bound for the rest of my life. Those surgeons back in Cascade didn’t botch the job, Chief. Far from it, I understand. Because of them I’ll be able to walk pretty much as normal, and if I’m sensible I can do enough at the gym to keep myself in good shape. I just can’t expect to run any distance, or do any heavy lifting or tackling! Twisting suddenly isn’t recommended either, and I’ll probably be wise to wear a back brace all the time except in bed. 

“But all in all, I got off lightly, babe. It’s not as if I had any desperate urge to go back to the PD anyway, and my days of physically chasing down perps are long gone.” 

At Blair’s look of astonishment, he chuckled as he continued. “It’s true, Chief. I’ve put my years in at the PD, and quite frankly, I’ve had enough. Being Captain of MCU has been good, but not overly stimulating or exciting. It seemed like a natural progression if I wanted to get out of the field, but it was never as fulfilling as when we worked together to put away the bad guys! 

“I’m ready for a change, babe, and if it can be with you, then that’s fine by me. Thanks to Dad, I don’t have any financial worries, so I can take my time getting as fit as I can, and deciding what I’d like to do with the rest of my life. Just as long as it’s with you.” 

By the time he’d finished speaking, Blair was almost overwhelmed with conflicting emotions, so much so that he couldn’t quite prevent the few stray tears that leaked from the corners of his troubled eyes whose stormy blue depths betrayed his every thought. 

“Oh, man, I don’t know what to say – where to begin! I mean, I’m so sorry that your back is never going to be completely as before, but also I’m relieved that it will get better. And that you’re taking it so well. I know you’ll work at getting as fit as you possibly can – hell, you’re already working as hard as your therapist will allow you to, and I can tell that even after such a short time here that your range of movement has improved dramatically. You’re still going to end up far fitter than most folks ever will be, even without a back injury to contend with. 

“But I have to say I’m amazed that you’re so…so _laid-back_ at the prospect of not being a cop anymore. Then again,” he continued thoughtfully, “I suppose I shouldn’t be so surprised. You always were more of an ‘action man’, so I guess it’s not so surprising that a desk job wouldn’t really cut it for you. 

“But at the end of the day, Jim, I’m so very relieved that you won’t be going back to any sort of police work. Call me selfish, but I want you here with me – or at least, _somewhere_ with me – where we can be together without worrying about the bad guys anymore!” 

“Then that’s what we’ll do, babe. But in the meantime, I’m more than happy to help you and Becca with that new material you’re working on. Anything I can do, I will. I’d dearly like you to be able to do something with it, babe. You deserve to be recognised for the expert you are.” 

Blair’s expression was one of tenderness and gratitude as he smiled softly up into Jim’s warm eyes. 

“Thanks, man. Becca will be so excited to hear whatever you can tell her about the Temple of the Sentinels from your first-hand experience. Within reason, of course!” he added with a wry smirk, knowing that Jim was hardly going to relate the goings-on with Alex Barnes. 

“But don’t hold your breath about me being allowed to do too much with this new stuff anytime soon, Jim. I’ll need to do a lot of persuading to get my department head to let me publish anything else on the subject of sentinels!” 

Jim frowned at his friend’s words, knowing that Blair had a point. Even now, there was still something of a stigma attached to his work, and indeed, his person, in the eyes of too many narrow-minded but influential people. But now Jim knew what he needed to do about it. He just needed the right opportunity. 

Smiling down into Blair’s beautiful eyes, he murmured, “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it, OK, babe? Don’t worry, something will turn up.” He couldn’t help but grin wider at Blair’s puzzled expression, but now wasn’t the time to tease or to raise his hopes prematurely. 

“Anyway, kiddo, seeing as you don’t have anything pressing at the U this afternoon, shall we take some time out? You promised me a trip to Railroad Square.” 

And, suitably diverted, Blair jumped to his feet. “Sure, Jim! It’s a lovely day. I think we could both do with a treat. And I know just the place for a beer….”  


\----------------------------------  


A short while later the two men strolled unhurriedly around Railroad Square, one of Tallahassee’s most well-known and popular areas for culture and entertainment. Blair was thoroughly enjoying his role as combined tour guide and walking encyclopaedia, as he had never before had the opportunity or, in truth, the inclination to indulge in such a relaxing pastime, which undoubtedly had a lot to do with his present companion. With few exceptions, he had never presumed to inflict his presence on his acquaintances during the years he had lived Tallahassee, no longer sure of his welcome and guarding himself against the pain of rejection. On this occasion, however, Jim was in a thoroughly receptive and amiable mood, so Blair felt many of his self-imposed restrictions falling away. 

As for Jim, he was quietly delighted to witness the slow resurfacing of the Blair he remembered from their early days, having missed the bounce and enthusiasm more than he would have thought possible, especially since he had had so little patience with his friend at the time. It was only too true, the old saying that ‘you don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone’. For all that he had imagined himself irritated by the young Blair’s constant chatter, once it was no longer there to sooth his senses and provide a comforting background noise, the loneliness and silence in the loft and in his life had become deafening. He was therefore only too glad to encourage his friend to keep up the entertaining and informative dialogue by asking questions and interjecting appropriate comments. 

“So, Chief, this is very nice, but what else has Tallahassee got going for it that the rest of Florida hasn’t? Apart from FSU, that is? I mean, I get that you’d want to live somewhere warmer than Washington State, but there are other warm areas.” 

“Oh, man, haven’t you been listening?” Blair whined with a comical, put-on grimace which had Jim sniggering. “I mean, apart from the fact that the U was one of the only places I could get accepted, this place has _seasons,_ Jim! A great climate, and proper seasons, which southern Florida doesn’t get. And it has hills, man. Granted, not very big ones, but have you checked out the rest of the peninsula? It’s _flat!_ And sometimes we even get a frost.” 

However, his face assumed a more sober expression as he continued, explaining another important reason for his choice of location. “The other thing about this town, Jim, is like I mentioned before. Not only is it the State capitol, but it’s the only place that returns a Democrat, man. It’s not perfect by any means, but it’s about as liberal as you’ll get in the southern states, Jim. You know me and my views, man. I wouldn’t survive long in some place less tolerant.” 

“I hear you, Chief,” Jim replied with a frown. “I know we used to butt heads on a lot of issues, but at bottom I think we both agreed on the basic need for tolerance in racial equality, spiritual and sexual preferences.” 

“And gender equality too, man,” Blair added quietly. “The rights that all people should be free to hold and believe in without fear of prejudice. But even here it’s getting harder to ignore the current political climate, Jim. There are people I know, even at the U, who I’d never have pegged for bigots of any sort, suddenly feeling free to come out from under whatever PC restrictions they’ve assumed to say what they really think. And it’s not good, man. Not good at all.” 

Jim reached out and placed a comforting arm around the smaller man’s shoulders as he said, “You’re right, Chief. It’s not looking good. But perhaps it won’t turn out to be as bad as we fear. Common sense might prevail after all. Let’s see what the elections bring, and take it from there.” 

And nodding his agreement, Blair pressed a little more closely against Jim’s side as both men walked on in contemplative but companionable silence for a while longer until by mutual consent they turned into a cosy-looking and welcoming bar, there to enjoy Blair’s promised beer.  


\--------------------------------------  


Sitting in a comfortable booth beside a window rather than at the bar, in deference to Jim’s back, both men sipped their beers appreciatively while looking out at the busy scene outside. Although it was late Fall, with winter fast approaching, it was still a pretty day, and locals and students were plainly making the most of it. After a few minutes, Jim looked over at his friend, a speculative gleam in his eyes. 

“Hey, Chief, if you don’t mind me asking, how’s your eyesight now? I mean, you don’t seem to need glasses any more than you did back in Cascade. Has your vision improved over time?” 

Blair blushed fetchingly and grinned a little sheepishly at the question. “It’s OK, man. I don’t mind you asking. See, the thing is, that about ten years ago I treated myself to some corrective laser procedures which helped a lot. It wasn’t a perfect cure, and I didn’t miraculously get 20/20 vision. I still need glasses for reading and close work as you’ve seen, but my general vision hasn’t degenerated any further. It was either that or keep getting really expensive and progressively more complex lenses made, and overall the one-off procedure worked out a whole lot cheaper.” 

“Sounds good, Chief,” Jim replied with a smile. “And it means that I get to see your eyes better. Not that you don’t look good in glasses too, babe. The professorial look on you is downright sexy!” 

Blair burst out laughing at that, and Jim chuckled in response before asking his next question. 

“You know, babe, ever since we got back together, you’ve never really mentioned Naomi. How are things between you two now, or shouldn’t I ask?” 

He could have bitten his tongue a moment later, as Blair’s face fell, and he looked for a few fraught seconds as if he might actually burst into tears. 

“Hey, hey, I’m sorry, babe,” Jim murmured worriedly, reaching over to cover Blair’s hand with his own. “I didn’t mean to stir up anything nasty for you. Just ignore me and forget I asked!” 

Swallowing hard, Blair got himself back under control and offered Jim a rather weak grin. “It’s OK, Jim. Just took me by surprise is all. I don’t mind telling you, honestly. 

“See, Naomi and I never really made it up properly. I told her over and over again that I forgave her, but really I was kidding myself. She really messed up my life, but more importantly, she could have destroyed you too, and I just couldn’t get over that. And then there was Simon and Megan getting hurt too because of the whole mess. I think she realised that I wasn’t the same with her anymore, and to be honest, she couldn’t get over the guilt either. 

“So, anyway, we drifted apart again, and I didn’t really have too much to do with her after I settled here. And then, around five years ago, she got in touch. She wanted to say goodbye, Jim. She had terminal cancer, and she never told me until it was too late because she didn’t want to be a burden! 

“Gods, Jim. I don’t think I’ve ever hated myself so much as when I went to see her in Taos where she was staying in a hospice. But I hated her too for not letting me know sooner. Not giving us another chance to make up. How awful was that, man? And although I said all the right things when we spoke, and I stayed with her to the end, which was only a couple of days after I arrived, I was a real mess for a while. 

“I came back here after the funeral, and threw myself back into my work, but couldn’t get over it. Some hypocrite I am, huh? Getting on your case for not making up with your Dad. 

“Anyhow, it was Davina and Olga who got me sorted out. They insisted I get therapy, and knew exactly the right person for the job. It took a fair few sessions, but eventually I learned to forgive myself, and Naomi too. It still hurts, but generally, I’m cool now, man.” 

Frowning in concern, Jim studied his friend carefully for moment before answering. It was true, Blair did look OK again, but Jim still felt bad about bringing up such a painful topic. 

“Thanks for explaining, Chief. I’m still sorry I brought up the subject, but I appreciate you telling me everything. Although I admit I was angry with her after the release of the diss, I always rather liked your Mom, and I know how close you two used to be. So I’m glad that you feel better about yourself now. 

“And as for being a hypocrite, no way, babe. You did the right thing, and I’ll always be grateful for that. We may never have had a real close relationship, but Dad and I did learn to get by comfortably enough in the end, and I know he always understood and appreciated your influence in getting me to change my attitude towards him, and Steven too, for that matter. It’s all good, Chief. 

“So, anyway,” he continued, smiling invitingly again. “How about another beer? My shout this time, and then I’m thinking I’ll be up for a bit more of a stroll. You said there was a museum nearby you wanted to show me?” and he was pleased and relieved when Blair beamed happily back at him, his good humour restored. 

“You’re on, Jim! Sounds like a plan!”  


\--------------------------------------  


**Several days later:**  


The comfortable domestic routine continued to develop over the next few days; with both men so in tune that the intervening years of estrangement might not have happened. But again, perhaps their present easy-going, companionable relationship was actually partially an end result of that period. Both men had had time to reflect and live with the knowledge of what they had lost, such that this time around neither of them was going to spoil their second chance to make things work. Jim was calmer and gentler, less defensive and less quick to judge or apportion blame where it wasn’t due, while Blair was quieter, less pushy and much more introspective, but so obviously happy to have Jim back in his life that he almost glowed with inner joy. All in all, the situation was mutually satisfying, although both knew that it couldn’t last indefinitely. Jim was getting better all the time, and he would soon need more to occupy himself than therapy routines and projects around the home. 

Having said that, Blair was more than happy to see his partner beginning to take on more and more projects as his mobility improved. Jim had already stripped down and re-stained the well-made but shabby garden furniture, and was presently engaged in doing the same to the kitchen cupboards. He also had his eye on some grouting and perhaps retiling in the bathroom, and there was no way Blair was going to try and dissuade him. As long as Jim didn’t push himself too hard, the younger man was only too pleased to see his friend happily engaged in such handiwork, and he certainly appreciated the home improvements. 

Another development was that Jim had begun to visit Blair at the U, working quietly in Blair’s office alongside Blair and Becca, studying the documented evidence from the dig. At first, Becca had been a little standoffish, knowing about Blair’s unfortunate past history. Like most others who got to know him personally, she didn’t believe he had lied either, and it didn’t take much for her to put two and two together to realise that this Jim Ellison was the subject of that ill-fated sentinel paper. As Blair remarked ruefully to Jim, this was the age of the internet and social media, so privacy was now a thing of the past and notoriety in particular seemed to retain its interest value almost indefinitely. It quickly became obvious to her that Jim actually was hypersensitive, although he was careful not to reveal just how enhanced his senses were. But having said that, she couldn’t help but resent him for letting Blair hang himself out to dry all those years ago without coming clean. It was only the fact that Blair seemed so happy to have his friend back, and the fact that Jim was a charming man when you got to know him that she relented, relaxed and settled in to work companionably together with them both. And the results of that work were astonishing. With Jim’s perfect recall and insight into the glyphs and writings on the walls of the Temple of the Sentinels, they were quickly able to establish the connection between the two sites, and propose that the second, ruined site was dedicated primarily to the sentinel’s companion, which, thanks to Lee Brackett’s terminology all those years ago, Blair had taken to calling the ‘guide’. 

But if Blair had misgivings about what repercussions might arise from the resulting corpus of work due to his personal involvement, he kept it to himself for the time being, not wanting to spoil Becca’s obvious pleasure. She deserved every bit of credit for a study well done, and Blair dearly wanted to see her get her doctorate in the very near future.  


\-----------------------------------  


During Jim’s stay he had also made a point of keeping in touch with Simon, knowing that his friend wanted to be kept in the loop regarding both Jim’s recovery and his on-going relationship with Blair. Frequent telephone conversations kept both men up to date with current affairs in Cascade, and because Blair now had an opportunity to talk to Simon also, he learned more about the man he had once regarded as his friend and unofficial ‘boss’. He learned that Daryl was now happily married and a father of two little girls, and it was blatantly obvious by the warmth in Simon’s tone that he adored them. Daryl had decided against going to the academy, and instead had studied Law at Rainier after which he joined the DA’s office in Seattle. Apparently he was making a real name for himself, and Simon was justifiably proud of him. 

What they hadn’t discussed yet though, was whether or not Jim intended to return, and if he did, whether Blair would be with him. That was something they both still had to work out, but for once, Jim was in no hurry. 

He was in no hurry either to push Blair into a more intense physical relationship, knowing that the younger man needed to come to terms with that, and all that it would entail, on his own. Suffice it to say that regular hugs and cuddles were the order of the day now, and as Jim was getting more comfortable with sharing the sofa with his friend, their making out was growing gradually more passionate if still tender and loving. Kisses were thoroughly enjoyed, and touches were much appreciated by both men, but as yet Blair still hadn’t suggested sharing a bed, so Jim had learned to curb his impatience, albeit with difficulty. He knew that Blair and he were on the same page; it was simply that Blair cared too deeply about Jim’s condition to risk any sort of setback despite Jim’s insistence that he was well on the mend. And he just had to love his smaller partner for that care and consideration. 

All in all life was good, if unchallenging, but that was no bad thing for the time being. Both men knew that eventually decisions would have to be made as regards their future together, but for now, the status quo served them well as they cemented their partnership. 

It was inevitable that change would have to come, but they had hoped that it would be on their own terms and in their own time, but unfortunately that wasn’t to be.  


\-----------------------------------  


Once Jim had begun to work with Blair and Becca at the U, with Becca’s approval and enthusiastic encouragement both men had begun to socialise more with Blair’s younger colleagues. However, it was noticeable to Jim that his friend kept a very low profile with his peers, preferring the company of the many TAs and grad students that willingly accepted his presence and indeed, actively sought him out. At the occasional party and impromptu social drinking session Blair was visibly more relaxed, even relatively talkative, almost reminiscent of the bouncy grad student of the past. He was always going to be young at heart, and his popularity with the group was obvious to Jim even if not to Blair himself, and Jim was quite happy to be included in the general bonhomie as the other students plainly took their cue from Blair as regards his affection for the older man. 

This low-key but enjoyable state of affairs provided both men with diversion and stimulation, since there were inevitably going to be discussions and debates with so many active and eager young minds gathered together, but with very rare exceptions, the exchanges were good-natured if sometimes passionate. Jim certainly held his own when it came to discussing politics, police and military affairs, and Blair was quietly proud to watch his friend win over his questioners with calm and measured arguments. 

However, there was no way the pair could stay indefinitely under the radar as far as Faculty was concerned, and one day Blair returned home with a decidedly troubled look on his attractive face. 

Jim was putting the finishing touches to the dinner he had prepared for them both when he suddenly frowned in concern. He knew Blair had arrived – had recognised the sound of the SUV from a distance - but whereas the younger man’s unique scent was usually pleasing to sentinel senses, this time it was soured by what Jim labelled as dismay and even a touch of fear. Drying his hands quickly on a tea towel, he turned to face his friend as Blair opened the door, dropped his satchel in the entry and hurried over to where Jim stood, only to pull up short as he chewed his lower lip in obvious distress. 

“Hey, now, Chief, what’s up?” Jim asked gently, almost afraid to reach out to Blair in case the smaller man bolted like a frightened colt. However, to his great relief, Blair didn’t seem inclined to react that drastically, although the tang of anxiety remained. 

“Oh, Jim, I’m sorry, man. I mean, it’s not the end of the world, I guess, but I just had an unofficial ‘conversation’ with the Dean of Studies which ended in an official request to attend a Faculty Social Evening. They’re like a cross between an interdepartmental get-together and fundraiser, as lots of Tallahassee’s ‘great and good’ attend. Sure, there are some genuinely altruistic benefactors out there, who give plenty to the U’s coffers without expecting fanfare, but others are only there for show, and to get mentioned in the gossip columns. And there’ll be some visiting academics there too. 

“It’s the same with Universities the world over, I know, but I’ve usually managed to avoid them here so far. And up until now my Head of Department’s been pretty understanding about letting me keep a low profile. 

“But now the Dean has taken it into his head to insist that not only do I attend, but that I bring you with me. I mean, I knew your presence would hardly stay a secret. The U’s grapevine works way too well for that. But why he should want to meet us both beats me. It can’t be for any good reason, Jim. I’m scared.” 

Jim didn’t respond immediately, instead he gave in to his first impulse and reached out to Blair, pulling the smaller man into a warm and comforting hug. Blair responded by wrapping his arms around Jim’s back and holding tight, the slight tremors in his body easing as he soaked up the big man’s support. 

After a couple of minutes, Jim pulled back a little, enough to be able to look down into Blair’s upturned face. 

“Stop worrying, babe,” he murmured reassuringly. “So what if the Dean’s got some ulterior motive? I’m a big boy, and can take care of myself now, and I don’t intend to let any pompous ass get on my case for no good reason. On the other hand, if he thinks he can use me to hurt you, babe, he’s got another think coming. Not going to happen, I promise. I know you’ve had reason to doubt my good intentions in the past, but those ‘fear responses’ you identified? I’ve had years to come to terms with them, and I think I can honestly say that they don’t rule me anymore. If he wants to introduce me around to his buddies, that’s fine. I’m not ashamed of who I am anymore, and I’m sure as hell not ashamed to be seen with you! So stop worrying on my account, love, and try to stop worrying on your own account too. We’ll get through this thing, ‘no worries’, as Megs would say.” 

Blair studied him quizzically for a moment before huffing out a deep sigh. “Thanks, Jim, for understanding me so well. For what it’s worth, I’m definitely not ashamed to be seen with you either. I’m proud to call you my friend and partner. It’s just that I still worry about your safety and your reputation even after all these years. I didn’t dare even contact you for so long in case anyone joined the dots and guessed the truth. But if you’re really OK being seen with me, then I guess we can get through this. What more can they do to me anyway?” he chuckled shakily. 

But neither of them really wanted to answer that, so they hugged again and then settled down to enjoy a tasty dinner and a relaxing evening in front of the TV. And if a shared sense of unease continued to niggle at them, they certainly weren’t going to let it spoil their time together.  


\---------------------------------  


**Ten days later, Florida State Campus:**  


Jim could feel Blair almost vibrating with tension as the two men approached the brightly-lit Great Hall where the fundraiser was already in full swing. It was the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and Jim was well aware that his smaller partner would rather be almost anywhere but here. They had spent Thanksgiving together, kicking back and generally relaxing, and thanks to Jim’s aplomb and determinedly laid-back attitude towards the upcoming event, Blair had managed to calm down some. However, now they were actually here, all his nervous anticipation seemed to have returned in full force. 

“You OK, babe?” Jim enquired gently, looking down at his pale-faced companion. “Did I tell you how good you look, Chief? You look good enough to eat!” 

The gentle words had the desired effect, and Blair sent him a wry grin. “Well, thank you, kind sir!” he snickered. “You look pretty darned good yourself – can we say, ‘hot’?!” 

It was true on both counts, as although the function wasn’t actually a ‘black tie’ do, it did require suits and formal shirts and ties, and both men carried off the look equally well in their different styles. Jim wore his beautifully cut, understated suit with elegant ease, while Blair’s slightly more modern cut outfit accentuated his compact figure and exotic features. He had chosen to wear a royal blue collarless silk shirt fastened with a sapphire stud which Jim had presented him with only that morning, and the rich colour drew attention to his magnificent blue eyes. In fact, Jim considered that the younger man looked positively beautiful, not having lost any of his appeal despite the intervening years. 

They were greeted at the door by a young, smartly-dressed security guard, who carefully ticked off their names on his list. “Dr Blair Sandburg, Captain James Ellison,” he murmured formally, then looked up to grin at Blair. “Good to see you here, Prof,” he added affably. “It’s not often we get you at one of these shindigs.” 

Blair returned his grin with a wry smirk of his own. “Couldn’t get out of it this time, Mike,” he replied ruefully. “Orders from On High!” 

“Well, I hope you and your friend enjoy yourselves anyway,” the young man answered honestly. “At least the food’s good this time. I know the caterers!” and he tapped the side of his nose and winked knowingly before turning his attention to the next arrivals. 

Moving away from the entrance, Blair grinned a little shyly at Jim’s tacit, questioning glance. “Um, Mike’s been auditing a few of my lectures,” he explained. “He came to me asking what I thought about him returning to college to get an undergrad degree, and I encouraged him. He’s a very bright young man, so it was the least I could do, and I think he’s set his sights on anthropology and archaeology. He’s’ all set to start next Fall.” 

Jim shook his head fondly. Trust Blair to put himself out to help a genuine potential applicant like that. As Becca had told him quietly just a few days ago, she knew of several students who voluntarily attended Blair’s lectures even though they were anthro rather than archaeology majors. Not only that, but they also frequently sought out his advice on anthro issues rather than from their own tutors and professors because they preferred his teaching methods and acknowledged and admired his insight and expertise in the subject despite his so-called murky past. Blair just couldn’t help himself. He was a born teacher, and still as unselfish as ever when it came to sharing his knowledge. 

As they entered the main hall together, for a moment Jim paused as the noise hit him, but at a gentle touch from Blair, he was able to glance down into his friend’s inquisitive face, murmuring, “It’s fine, Chief. Just forgot to compensate for a moment. Still a bit out of practice, I guess. It’s all dialled down now,” and he grinned to confirm his assertion. “And you know what, babe?” he continued in a conspiratorial whisper, “Your touch is as effective as ever when it comes to grounding me.” 

He was glad to see the shy pleasure in Blair’s face as the younger man blushed a little, and then they were inside, and working their way politely but determinedly through the throng of people drinking and chatting loudly in groups, intending to get to the relative calm of the buffet table before everyone else had the same idea. If they could get something to eat, then circulate just enough for Blair to make his presence known, then all being well they could slip out with clear consciences. 

They had almost made it to the quieter side room where the buffet was laid out when they were accosted by a middle-aged woman, who plainly had the same thing in mind. She was around the same height as Blair, and her style of dress was slightly unconventional, but her otherwise unremarkable features were lit by a friendly smile and the quick intelligence in her inquisitive gaze. 

“Hey, Blair!” she addressed him cheerfully as she reached out unselfconsciously to take his hand. “So you couldn’t escape this time, huh? Bad luck, kiddo! But then again, it’s nice to get to meet your mysterious, but very handsome friend at last. Sophie Martin,” she said warmly, turning to offer Jim a pleasant smile and a cheeky wink. “Like Blair, I’m on the staff here.” 

Jim couldn’t help but return her smile, liking her no-nonsense manner and the twinkling brown eyes that studied him appraisingly, apparently liking what they saw. 

“Jim Ellison, Ms Martin, or should I say, Dr Martin? Pleased to meet you. Any friend of Blair’s, as they say,” he replied smoothly, turning on the charm. 

Smiling widely, Blair looked from one to the other, pleased to see the rapport already obvious between them. 

“Jim, Sophie’s one of my oldest friends here on campus. She’s a professor of criminology, psychology and sociology, and I try and sit in on her lectures whenever I can. It’s fascinating stuff.” 

“Less of the ‘old’, young man!” Sophie snipped smartly, but with a wicked grin that took the sting out of her words. “What he doesn’t say, Jim, is that I sit in on his lectures too. He’s very entertaining and informative; like a breath of fresh air even if archaeology isn’t your chosen subject. And I’m trying to get him to do another doctorate in Criminal Psychology. I know he’d be brilliant, but he never seems to have the time!” 

“Aww, shucks,” Blair chuckled, trying unsuccessfully not to look bashful. “You say the nicest things! But seriously, Sophie, I don’t really know why Dean Anders was so keen to get me here. So we’ll probably try to get away as soon as we can.” 

Sophie looked at him shrewdly for a moment, her head tilted to one side. “Well, honey,” she murmured thoughtfully, “I might be wrong, but I think it could well be because of one of the visiting academics who’s supposed to be attending. I think he or she might have requested your presence specifically, but don’t quote me on that. Could just be scuttlebutt. 

“And don’t get all anxious either,” she added firmly, but not unsympathetically as Blair paled visibly in distress. “You don’t have anything to be ashamed of, kiddo, and besides, with a gorgeous big boyfriend like this at your side, who can hurt you? No one in their right mind would even try!” 

Stepping up close, she pecked him on the cheek, squeezing his upper arm comfortingly. “I’m going to make myself scarce too, hon, once I’ve gotten something to eat, because I’ve got somewhere else to be, but stop worrying, and try to enjoy yourself, OK? I’m truly sorry if me and my big mouth have spoiled it for you so soon. I could be quite wrong after all.” 

Turning to Jim, she held out her hand, saying, “So pleased to have met you Jim, and I’m glad that Blair has someone special to be with now. He’s a good person, and deserves the best, as I’m sure you do also. Take care of each other, and hope to see you both again soon.” 

With that, she shook his hand firmly, patted Blair’s shoulder kindly again, and moved away, leaving two slightly shell-shocked men behind her. 

“Well, that was different,” murmured Jim as he cast a rather bemused glance at his equally bemused partner. 

“Um, yeah,” Bair replied slowly. “Sophie’s a law unto herself for sure, but she’s a really good-hearted person. A great friend and a really unique personality.” 

“Well, takes one to know one,” Jim responded with a grin. “Let’s get some of this chow while we can, babe. Like your friend at the door said, it looks pretty good for once, not standard ‘rubber chicken’ stuff.” 

Relaxing again, Blair smiled back at him. “OK, Big Guy. I know you must be hungry, so let’s tuck in. Anyway, whatever Sophie says, we might still be able to get away unscathed, and we might as well enjoy the free food first.” 

For a while, it looked as if this hopeful plan might actually work for them. They enjoyed a plateful of some really rather good buffet fare, and sipped appreciatively at the freely-offered flutes of champagne, even though both men would probably have preferred a good beer instead. Sticking close together, they remained as unobtrusive as possible, simply enjoying each other’s company, and chatting amicably as Blair pointed out a few persons he thought might be of interest to Jim, offering the occasional witty – but never cruel – anecdote where appropriate. Although Blair tensed up when Dean Anders looked over and caught his eye, he relaxed again when the man merely nodded in his direction, then returned to his conversation with a formidable-looking dowager who plainly enjoyed being the centre of attention. 

“That’s Mrs Braithwaite,” Blair hissed quietly for Jim’s benefit. “She’s always appearing in the local paper’s society and gossip columns. But she’s actually not the dragon she seems to be. She’s fiercely protective of the several charities she supports, and as an alumnus of FSU, she is more than happy to provide grants and donations where necessary. In fact, she provided part of the funding for my expedition to Sierra Verde, so I certainly can’t complain!” 

“Fair enough, babe,” Jim replied, smiling down into Blair’s beautiful face, slightly flushed as it was with the champagne and the heat in the crowded hall. “So, now he’s seen you, can we slip out, do you think? We might even catch the end of the ball game if we’re lucky.” 

Blair nodded eagerly, and they turned to begin to make what they hoped would be an unobtrusive and unnoticed exit, when Blair pulled up short, his path blocked by a figure who broke away from the group he was conversing with to plant himself directly in front of the smaller man. 

Jim frowned as Blair’s heart rate suddenly took off, and a distinct tang of distress reached the sentinel’s sensitive nose. Immediately going on alert, Jim quickly placed a supportive hand at the small of Blair’s back, glowering threateningly at the tall, spare older man who was gazing down at his partner in barely-disguised disdain. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t young Dr Sandburg, deigning to grace us with his presence for once,” the man purred, the sneer in his tone enough to make Jim’s teeth grind together in silent fury. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your…um…friend?” the man continued, plainly playing up to his coterie of hangers-on who were lapping up every word. 

Going for cool politeness, Blair straightened his shoulders and replied, trying hard to control the slight tremor in his voice which was due as much to anger as it was to fear. This was the very thing he had dreaded, and now it was happening. Over the years he had learned to deal with such attacks on his character, but there was no way in hell he was going to allow this man, or any of his cronies, to impugn Jim in any way if he could help it. 

“Hello Howard,” he began mildly, an inner imp of glee briefly snickering at the pompous older man’s slight grimace at this familiarity. “Ah, let me introduce Captain Ellison, Major Crimes Unit, Cascade PD. Jim,” he said turning to glance apologetically up at the bigger man, “This is Dr Howard Stephenson of the Anthropology Department,” and he turned back to offer the man a forced grin, knowing that there was worse to come. 

He wasn’t mistaken, as the older man positively puffed up with self-importance and malicious intent. Flicking a knowing glance back at his attentive audience and affecting _faux_ puzzlement, Stephenson mused, “Um, Ellison? My! What a coincidence! Surely that was the name of the subject of your…er…’fraudulent thesis’? Or perhaps I should say, your first failed attempt at fiction? You do realise, dear boy,” he continued, the malevolence now clear in his tone and manner, “I’ll expect you to hand over all the material you gathered in Mexico to my department forthwith? I mean, outside of the mechanical processes of retrieval and documentation of such important information, a mere archaeologist cannot possibly have any other valid input!” 

Jim was already growling deep in his chest, and preparing to rip the arrogant and offensive jerk a new one when he was forestalled by the appearance of another man, who moved casually in between the protagonists, smiling benignly and placing a friendly hand on Blair’s shoulder. Jim knew he ought to recognise the interloper even though he was certainly older now; greyer and slightly stooping; but it wasn’t until Blair beamed up into the elderly man’s face that he put the pieces together. This had to be none other than Dr Eli Stoddard, Blair’s mentor and academic hero. The man whose offer - which could well have turned out to be a possible career-making expedition to Borneo - the then grad student had knowingly turned down for Jim’s sake. And for that of Simon and Daryl Banks. 

However, Stoddard certainly didn’t appear to hold any grudges towards Blair, as his words confirmed. Pretty much ignoring the stuttering Stephenson and his puzzled and disappointed cronies, Eli addressed the younger man with apparent ingenuousness. “Blair, my boy! How good it is to see you again! Gentlemen,” he continued, encompassing the entire surrounding party in his pleasant and avuncular smile. “Blair here was always my favourite student! Such wisdom and insight, and from such an early age! Do you realise, this young man began his studies at Rainier at barely fifteen years of age! I don’t think I’ve ever come across such raw talent before or since! 

“But come, my boy. Tell me why you changed your subject from anthropology to pure archaeology? I mean, as an archaeologist I understand that you’re more than adequate. But as an anthropologist, you had the makings of pure brilliance! Still do, in fact, according to everything I’ve heard! Surely you could have come to me and your committee about that silly misunderstanding with your paper? It was brilliant after all, and no-one in their right minds should have doubted you!” 

Blair didn’t know what to say. Yes, it was wonderful to have someone of Eli’s calibre in his corner for once, getting in the faces of those who still got their jollies out of rubbing his nose in his past, but what about Jim? How was his partner going to react to Eli’s less-than-subtle assertions? _Please the goddess,_ he thought despairingly, _please don’t let Jim take this the wrong way and hate me all over again! Eli’s as good as ‘outed’ him as a sentinel to everyone here. Will he really be OK with that? And how did Eli get his hands on a copy of my diss? I thought Jim had the only one…._

But Jim had no intention of hating or hurting his partner again. This was the just the opportunity he had been looking for, and he grasped it with both hands. Moving closer to Blair, he wrapped his arm around the smaller man’s waist, pulling him protectively into his side. Smiling warmly into Eli’s knowing and appreciative eyes, he said, “Good to meet you in person, Dr Stoddard, after all this time. I know how much Blair admires you and your work, and I can only say how much I appreciate your support for my partner. You’re right, he should be heading up an Anthropology Department somewhere, but the only reason he isn’t is because of me. Because he’s the most loyal and loving friend anyone could hope to have. 

“Because yes, you’re right insofar as he never lied about that ‘Sentinel’ paper. Only inasmuch as he denied it as the truth, that is. That’s why I was happy for you to read it after you contacted me a while back. I really _am_ a modern-day sentinel, and he put his reputation on the line to protect me and Cascade PD from the bad guys who might have taken advantage of that knowledge. Knowledge that he didn’t release, by the way. His intellectual property was disseminated illegally, and those who did it have since paid up for their crime. 

“So, gentlemen. Is there anything you want to ask me, or can I assume that your curiosity has been satisfied? 

“Because I tell you now,” he continued in the coldest and most threatening tone he could conjure up, “if I ever learn that any of you or your colleagues ever belittles or threatens my partner again, I will see to it that you fully understand the errors of your ways. Do you understand?” 

And unsurprisingly, everyone but Eli shuffled off, muttering and trying to look nonchalant even as their nervousness and irritation betrayed them to sentinel senses. 

Truth be told, Blair was completely dumbfounded by the outcome of the altercation, and for once was in no fit state to respond. On the other hand, Eli was grinning in overt satisfaction, pleased that his intervention had had the desired result. 

Having said that, he knew the gamble could have backfired on him, had Jim Ellison retained his unbending, self-centred attitude from the past. But as Eli had surmised from the man’s voluntary re-appearance in Blair’s life, Ellison had changed for the better, and was no longer prepared to hide behind the tissue of half-truths and deceit that had shrouded his gifts in the past. The fact that he had willingly sent a copy of Blair’s paper to him on request persuaded Eli that his favourite young protégé had finally received the recognition and the love he deserved, and his work at this tedious social gathering was done.   


\-------------------------------------  


On the drive back, Jim cast frequent glances over at his silent passenger, wondering what was going on inside Blair’s head. He had offered to drive, since his back injury had healed enough to allow it, and Blair had made no complaint as he handed over the keys to the SUV. But even taking into consideration his younger partner’s more self-contained demeanour these days, Blair was pale and quiet, and Jim was beginning to wonder if his hard-nosed attitude at the gathering had unintentionally upset his friend. However, he had long since decided that it was a lack of communication which had caused so many misunderstandings between them in the past, so although still not the most comfortable conversationalist in the world, he was going to give it his best shot. 

“You OK over there, Chief? I guess that wasn’t the nicest experience for you, but did I do something wrong? Come over too belligerent? Because if so, I’m sorry, babe. It’s just that it’s way overdue for me to speak up for you, kiddo, instead of denying my responsibility to you – to _us_ – so maybe I overdid it!” 

Blair looked over at him then, a sad smile on his face. “It’s OK, Jim. I’m sorry I’m being so miserable. I mean,” he continued honestly, “Yes I was rather shaken by your performance, and Eli’s too. I guess for a minute I felt a bit emasculated – having people speak for me – because I’ve been putting up with crap like that by myself for a long time. But when all’s said and done, it was good to have someone in my corner for once, so I shouldn’t be sulking like this. Stephenson’s hated me for a long time, so he’ll take any opportunity he can get to stick it to me, preferably in the most public places. And this time it backfired on him big-time, so thank you for that. 

“I’m just having a problem getting my head around the fact that you were so open about your gifts after so long. I still expect you to deny them, and I’m so sorry for doubting your change of heart. Forgive me?” 

In response, Jim’s wide smile was due to both love for his partner and relief that he hadn’t ruined everything between them with his overbearing attitude. 

“Nothing to forgive, Chief. We can call it quits, OK? I’m still learning this ‘cherish the guide’ stuff I should have mastered long ago. Incacha told me it was about damned time I got with the programme, and he was right.” 

He snickered internally at the way Blair brightened instantly, his inquisitive mind pouncing on the mention of the deceased Chopec shaman. 

“Oh, man! You had another vision? When was that? That’s so cool!” 

“Not as cool as all that, babe,” Jim answered wryly. “It was after I got shot and I guess I was trying to make up my mind whether to bother to wake up again. Incacha told me in no uncertain terms that I should get my head out of my ass because you were still there for me. Still waiting for me to see you as I should have right from the beginning. 

“So I did what he told me, and woke up. And I haven’t regretted it for one minute since.” 

Blair’s expression was soft and loving, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. “Oh, man, that’s beautiful,” he breathed, reaching over to squeeze Jim’s knee. “So that’s what you meant when you said Incacha told you to come back for me. 

“Um, when we get back, can I come to bed with you? I promise I won’t do anything to strain your back. I just want to be close to you tonight.” 

And Jim couldn’t have been happier. At last! He had been trying to convince the smaller man for days now that he was ready and eager to share a bed, growing frustrated with Blair’s anxious concern for him. 

“You’d better, babe! I can’t think of a nicer way to relax. You won’t hurt me, Chief, I promise. I’m easily able to cope with some serious cuddling!” 

And he was.  


\----------------------------------  


**Epilogue: August 2017, Cascade, WA:**  


Standing a little way out from the shore, Jim cast his line expertly and watched in satisfaction as the lure dropped to the glittering surface. The cool waters of the lake reached to mid-thigh on his waders, but he wasn’t at all uncomfortable. Nearly a year to the day since the shooting, he was very nearly back to full strength and fitness, although a lingering ache and stiffness in his lower back precluded such activities as camping under canvas or sleeping bags on solid ground. He grinned to himself at the fleeting thought, grateful that his brother Steven had offered the use of his luxurious holiday ‘log cabin’ in Cascade’s National Forest so that Jim, Blair and Simon could enjoy a little down-time in comfort. 

Glancing upstream, Jim carefully scanned his partner, happy to spend a few minutes contemplating his friend, and thinking about the past year while he automatically went through the motions of angling. Blair looked relaxed and happy; for the most part his face was now smooth and free from the stress lines that had marred its perfection during the first months since their reconciliation. They had come a long way in a remarkably short time since then, and to Jim’s mind, things could only get better. Despite the grey curls that peeked out from beneath yet another absurd fishing hat, Blair still looked young for his years, and Jim fully appreciated his good fortune in ‘coming to his senses’, so to speak, and realising at last that they were quite literally made for each other. It was a slightly sobering thought that Blair was only a couple of years short of fifty, which meant that Jim himself was much nearer to sixty than he liked to admit, but he was convinced that they still had years ahead of them in which to enjoy and grow their partnership, happy in the knowledge that whatever time they had left, it would be spent together. 

Just then, Blair glanced up, seeming to realise that he was being watched. He raised a slightly quizzical eyebrow, and offered a warm smile which lit up his face and made his stunning eyes shine with love. Jim simply smiled back, and they shared the moment until a shout from further downstream distracted them. Turning as one, they looked over to where Simon stood, a wide grin on his face as he still chomped on his customary, unlit cigar. 

“Lookee here, then!” his deep voice carried easily to them, and he held up a fine trout. “First catch of the day!” 

It was going to be a tasty fish supper tonight, then, with hopefully more to come, so all three exchanged a companionable word and smile before returning to their relaxing and productive pastime. 

Sparing a thought for his oldest friend, Jim was glad that the older man had agreed to accompany them on this fishing trip. Simon looked good for his years, and thoroughly enjoyed their company, but only Jim knew just how much he had missed them while they were away in Tallahassee. Although as expected he had controlled his emotional reactions when they had announced their decision to return to Cascade, sentinel senses had easily discerned the real relief and affection Simon was too proud and self-contained to reveal. 

Allowing his thoughts to run along that familiar path, Jim once again considered their up-and-down progress since he had ‘come out’ to Blair’s colleagues at the fundraiser. To be honest, much of their joint decision to return to Cascade was due to the mixed reactions they had received in the aftermath of his announcement, not all of which had been good. 

For the most part, Blair’s students had been filled with glee that their favourite teacher had been exonerated in the eyes of Faculty, but his reception amongst his peers was less universally understanding or agreeable. Jim knew that there were some who were genuinely pleased for Blair, such as Sophie Martin, and others who actually had never been too judgemental of him and had accepted his presence anyway, but there were also those who couldn’t quite forgive him for keeping them in the dark for so many years, and yet more who were more than a little uncomfortable with their previous attitude towards him. Added to that, Jim had overheard many mutterings to his own detriment regarding his long delay in ‘fessing up and in failing to clear his partner’s name years before. However, he felt guilty enough about that anyhow, and tried to keep the worst of the comments from Blair simply because he knew the younger man would be desperately hurt on Jim’s behalf. He had enough personal upheaval to cope with already without adding indignation for Jim’s treatment to his emotional burden. 

And of course, the fact that they were now openly living together didn’t go down too well in some quarters either. There were way too many snide comments circulating about the nature of their partnership, and Jim was disgusted to learn that there were a good few who maintained that it was some sort of co-dependent or otherwise dysfunctional relationship. Why else would the mild-mannered teacher allow himself to be dominated by one such as Jim? For sure, he was never going to tell Blair about those nasty little snippets and insinuations. 

And all the time this was going on, Blair was trying to do his job, and also working with Becca on the excavation material. With this additional evidence, and Jim’s persuasion, Blair had come to the conclusion that his original ‘Sentinel’ paper was, in fact, unbalanced. Being the type of unassuming person he was, Blair had never considered himself to be anything more than a reasonably knowledgeable grad student who had been in the right place at the right time to help Jim with his reawakened senses. He had never believed that it was he himself who had successfully grounded and backed up the detective where others failed, and without whom the sentinel gradually ceased to function. But seeing the evidence of the writings and glyphs from the ruined temple with his own eyes, and with Jim’s insistence that he take heed of Jim’s own beliefs, he had come around to the notion that he had seriously neglected and underestimated the role of the companion or guide, and needed to redress the balance. Jim had gone to a lot of trouble to explain in detail his interpretation of the evidence, and in addition to finally analysing the revelations of their merge at the fountain, Jim had also added what he believed Incacha had intended to imply both through the various visions Jim had experienced and in passing on the ‘Way of the Shaman’ to Blair on his deathbed. Blair _was_ special, and Becca agreed. 

The trouble was that, although he was more than sympathetic to Blair’s request to rewrite and present his paper in an attempt to gain a doctorate in Anthropology also, his Head of Department, as well as the Dean of Studies, weren’t inclined to allow it. Although both professed their satisfaction over Blair’s exoneration, both also regretted that he hadn’t felt able to tell them the whole truth, and the fact remained that several in the Anthropology Department, not least Professor Stephenson, still positively hated Blair for showing them up in public. He would never be accepted in their ranks, and the barely-veiled animosity towards Jim didn’t help. 

Although initially devastated by their decision, Blair reluctantly admitted that he could see their point of view, but Jim wouldn’t let the matter rest. He had been in contact with Eli Stoddard, and had learned that the older man still had a lot of influence with Rainier, and that he was more than happy to help. Consequently, Eli had once more gone in to bat for Blair, and had made arrangements for him that both he and Jim hoped would please the younger man. 

Jim smiled to himself as he recalled the evening when Eli had made that fateful call to Blair, and how his younger lover had reacted. 

Blair had been somewhat dispirited, having spent the day coming up against the brick wall otherwise known as his Head of Department. They had reached no real agreement as to how Blair’s position in the department should progress; knowing how the Dean felt about his desire to get his second doctorate; and Blair was beginning to despair. However, he was trying his best to keep up a cheerful demeanour for Jim’s sake, even though he well knew that Jim could see right through him. 

They had barely settled down in front of the TV for a quiet night’s viewing when Eli’s call had come in, and Blair had picked up the receiver with surprise and pleasure. 

“Eli! It’s great to hear from you! How are you getting along? I understand you’re thinking of writing a new biography about Sir Richard Burton?” 

Jim wouldn’t normally have listened in, wanting to allow his lover some privacy, but he had a pretty good idea of why the older man was contacting Blair, so he salved his conscience by telling himself that he should be ready to offer support should it be needed. Consequently, he clearly heard Eli’s cheerful reply. 

“No, Blair, my boy! Whatever gave you that idea? I do think that a new biography is in order, but I can think of someone much more suitable to undertake such a project. Say, someone who has a doctorate in Sentinel studies?” 

For a moment, Blair didn’t know how to respond, thinking that if Eli was joshing with him, it wasn’t particularly pleasant, but a second later he shook it off. Eli wasn’t like that, so he must have misunderstood. 

And he soon learned just how much he had misunderstood his old mentor’s words. 

Eli had gone on to explain that he wanted Blair to finish updating the ‘Sentinel’ paper in order to submit it to a committee headed by Eli himself at Rainier. Although officially retired, Stoddard had retained a significant status and presence at the university, and after Jim had gone public, there was a strong feeling amongst the present Board of Governors that they should do something to compensate Blair for his abrupt dismissal and shabby treatment. Chancellor Edwards was long gone – in fact, had been dismissed from her position shortly after the whole dissertation debacle blew up in her face – and the general feeling was that it was past time to make amends. After all, if Blair could be tempted to return, what better place would there be for him to take up a position as Professor of Anthropology than at his old college? With Eli backing him up, and on a successful defence of his paper, his appointment should be a shoo-in in Jim’s not-so-humble opinion. 

Blair had taken a little more convincing, still unsure of his reception in Cascade, but he had been feeling increasingly uncomfortable in Tallahassee, and realised that Jim wasn’t happy there either. He therefore made up his mind to accept Eli’s offer, and threw himself into rewriting his dissertation, whilst at the same time helping Becca prepare a paper of her own on another aspect of the finds. A paper which, to both Blair and Jim’s great delight, was destined to be instrumental in earning for her her own PhD. 

During those weeks, Jim had also been busy on his own account. With Blair beavering away over his paper and the on-going responsibilities of his teaching job, Jim had had time to consider what his own prospects were. He had been in touch with Steven, who had put a proposition to him. A proposition he had first intended to dismiss outright, but on reflection had actually found tempting. 

Steven had told him that he wanted Ellison Enterprises Inc. to branch out into the design and installation of state-of-the-art security systems and services, and who better to head up the new division than Jim? After discussing the matter with Blair, and after doing a little research of his own, Jim had agreed to give it a try. He surprised himself by realising that he was actually excited at the prospect, and had thrown himself into researching the sort of development and additional training he might need to make a go of it. 

He had also insisted that the division be named ‘Sentinel Security Systems’! Go figure! 

So here they were, several months down the line, finally enjoying a little much-needed down-time. Just before the end of the academic year, Blair had submitted and successfully defended his new ‘Sentinel’ paper, and was now a Doctor of Anthropology as well as Archaeology. He was also due to take up his new appointment as Professor of Anthropology at Rainier in the Fall. So far, he had been thrilled at his reception at Rainier. True, there were still a few folks there who remembered the whole diss episode, and who sincerely regretted their reactions now the truth was out. There would always be a handful of detractors also, but that would be the same anywhere, and together Jim and Blair were strong enough not to let that worry them. 

Jim’s fledgling division was already showing marked signs of success, and Steven was well pleased to have his brother back in Cascade and working with him in the family business. 

And it was good to be back, even though Blair sometimes laughingly bemoaned leaving the warm weather of Tallahassee behind. They weren’t at the loft, as Jim realised that the place held too many painful memories for Blair to be truly counterbalanced by the good times. However, since he had long ago come to the conclusion that ‘home’ for both of them meant being together, rather than a matter of simple location, they had chosen a nice, older property to share, with a garden in which Blair could potter to his heart’s content. 

His ruminations were suddenly derailed by a sharp tug on his line, accompanied by Blair’s joyful shout from further upstream. They had both managed to snag a catch almost simultaneously, and Jim almost laughed out loud at the thought. _Why am I not surprised? We’re so much in tune now that it figures the fish would cooperate and allow themselves to be hooked at the same moment!_

And now Simon was laughing delightedly at the sight of them both reeling in their catches, Blair giggling like a schoolboy while Jim chuckled fondly. Life was good.  


\----------------------------  


**Later that night, in the cabin:**  


In the darkness, even without the gift of enhanced vision, Blair knew exactly what his lover’s expression would be. In deference to Simon’s presence in the neighbouring guestroom, they had kept a lid on their passion, and their lovemaking had been slow and gentle but no less satisfying for all that. Now, with sleep approaching, Jim’s light blue eyes would be crinkling at the corners and glowing with softness and warmth, the firm jaw and mouth relaxing even as his lips would be lifted in the affectionate smile which was for Blair alone. 

Blair reached across the wide bed, and found his hand firmly clasped in Jim’s warm grip, knowing that any second now the bigger man would tug him over to snuggle against his side, protected and cherished in his lover’s arms throughout the night. 

And as Jim did just that, Blair sighed in deep contentment. He knew to the bottom of his soul that it was all good, and everything was finally as it was meant to be.   


**The End**


End file.
